Grief
by Lemmy
Summary: *COMPLETE* The big fluff chapter, Buffy and Spike Get Married B/S, X/A, A/C, D/C
1. Afterwards

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AN: OK I know there are probably a ton of afterwards Fanfics about the season finally of Buffy well here's another one. This takes place after Two to go and Grave (duh). The Angel Crossover will start in chapter four. I don't own anything relating to Buffy and Angel I just own the plot.

Pain ripped through him as he screamed. The demon was giving him back what he wanted, but what he didn't want himself to believe he wanted... His soul. Spike thought if he boasted enough about removing the chip he would get rid of these feelings, his love for Buffy. He had no idea that the demon would see through him that he would realize, what Buffy really deserved was love in her life. The demon somehow knew that Spike was the one who would give that to her, to pull her away from the darkness. The pain ceased and Spike fell to the ground.

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Demon: You have received what you came for now leave.

Spike shakily stood up and left the cave. He had little time before sunrise so he rushed to the port he came in and hid in the cargo hold of one of the ships that was going to Sunnydale. He sat against the wall and leaned his head back, closing his eyes. His physical wounds were beginning to heal but he realized his internal wounds, the pain he caused, the grief and all of the things he did it all came flooding back to him and he felt bad. He had never felt bad about his kills before. It was all too much; Spike began to weep as the ship started its 3-month journey towards Sunnydale.

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Buffy and Dawn made their way towards the exit of the graveyard. Everything seemed more beautiful because Buffy finally realized why she was brought back, he meaning for having a second, well third chance to live again. She wanted to watch Dawn grow up and to show her the world. The one big thing Buffy realized about her little sister was that she was capable and she could take care of herself. As they were leaving the graveyard Buffy turned and looked back at the beauty that just became apparent to her.

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Dawn: What's wrong?

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Buffy: (smiles) Nothing, lets go see how Giles is doing

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Dawn: What about Willow?

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Buffy: I'm sure she's in good hands

Then the Summers sisters walked out of the graveyard hand in hand and headed towards the destroyed Magic shop.

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Xander held his best friend in his arms as she sobbed. His face and chest throbbed in pain from where she scratched him magically. He didn't let go of her, she needed him now more then ever and for the past few weeks he was to busy with his own grief to spend time with her.

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Xander: (soothingly) Shh, it's going to be ok Will

Willow pulled away from him, her face was red and tear streaked, that's when Xander noticed he hair was it's normal red color. He was going to say a funny comment about it but the look of grief and pain on her face made him bite his tongue.

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Willow: (softly, tear choked voice) N-no it's not

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Xander: (caught off guard by her comment) Of course it is Willow, don't say that

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Willow: Why not Xander? Huh? Why can't I say it's not going to be ok. Cause it's never going to be ok for me

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Xander: Yes it will, we will get through this...Together

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Willow: Do have any idea how much guilt I feel now? God, Xander I killed someone and I nearly killed five people I love. (touches face tenderly) look what I did to you

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Xander: (takes her hand) They'll heal (Willow looks away) I do know that feeling you know

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Willow: (looks back at him) What?

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Xander: The guilt

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Willow: You've never killed anyone Xander

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Xander: No, but I did leave the love of my life at the alter an-

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Willow: (cuts him off) That's not the same

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Xander: And I think it's my fault that Tara and Buffy got shot

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Willow: (stares at Xander wide-eyed) What?!

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Xander: I saw the gun, before Warren pointed it, I froze I didn't know what to do I was so scared and because I got scared Two of my friends were hurt and (trails off)

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Willow: (hugs him) It's not your fault

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Xander: I feel like everything the past couple weeks has been my fault and I can't take it anymore, I had almost become a booze hound like my father after Anya left and I wanted to kill my self but I knew that somehow things were going to get better and I'm just (sighs and begins to cry)

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Willow: It's not your fault Xander, it's not your fault

It was Willow's turn to comfort Xander and she held him while he cried.

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Xander: Sorry I shouldn't have gone on about that

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Willow: No you had a right to we have all been a little caught up in our own problems

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Xander: Yeah

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Willow: Xander?

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Xander: Yeah?

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Willow: Do you think Buffy will be mad at me?

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Xander: (smiles) No I think she'll be happy to see that your Willow again

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Willow: I hope so and Xander...

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Xander: (stands up and helps Willow Up) Yeah?

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Willow: I love you too

Xander smiled and the two best friends made their way down King Men's bluff.

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AN: That's Chapter one please review!!!!! And look for Chapter two really soon!!!!!


	2. Soulful Spike

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AN: Thanks so much for your reviews!! Here's chapter two! HMM I wonder what the gang has been up too for the past three months and what Spike's deal is. Well read to find out!!!!

Buffy, Willow and Dawn were walking through one of Sunnydale's Numerous Graveyards, on patrol. It's been three months since Willow went Super evil Witch on Sunnydale and the people she loved after Tara was killed. She tried her hardest to cope with what she did, but they all knew that when she was alone she cried. 

Three months before, Buffy, Dawn, Anya and Giles were standing outside the wreckage of the Magic shop, when Willow and Xander walked up. Xander was a mess his face and chest were scratched and they all knew that must have been Willow's work. Willow didn't look at her friends at first she kept her head. Buffy walked over to her and lifted her head up. They shared eye contact and embraced crying in each others arms. Everything started to get better after that. Giles stayed in Sunnydale and Helped Xander and Anya rebuild the Magic shop and Buffy felt more safe knowing Spike wasn't going to be around. 

As the three of them made their way through the graveyard, a shuffling was heard in the Bushes by what was Spike's crypt. Clem lived there now.

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Buffy: Stay back

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Dawn: (sighs and pulls out stake) Buffy what have we talked about

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Buffy: Right... Sorry... Habit... stay close

They walked towards the bushes quietly. When Buffy was about to charge through the bushes at some unexpecting demon. A figure stumbled out. Buffy's heart jumped when she saw who it was.

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Buffy: Spike?

Spike looked at Buffy, he was trembling.

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Buffy: What's wrong with you?

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Spike: Buffy make it stop hurting

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Buffy: (confused) What? Make what... oh you jerk, you expect me to take you back... to forgive you for what you tried to do?

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Spike: Buffy I...

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Buffy: Don't even try to apologize (to Dawn and Willow) Let's go

Spike watched the three of them walk off, he started towards his crypt. He opened the door to find it occupied by Clem.

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Clem: Spike! Your back, hey!

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Spike: I have a problem, Clem

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Clem: What is it buddy? These ears are big and floppy for a reason.

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Spike: (looks Clem right in the eyes) I have a soul

Buffy Stormed back to her house, Spike had such the nerve to come back and try to win her back. She angrily climbed the stairs.

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Buffy: (yelling to Willow and Dawn) I'M GOING TO BED!

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Willow & Dawn: Goodnight

They were responded by a slammed door.

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Dawn: Wow, seeing Spike really made her mad

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Willow: He did try to hurt her

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Dawn: But he seemed hurt or something was bothering him

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Willow: Well, he'll show up here sooner or later

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Dawn: Not here, Giles put up that unwelcome spell

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Willow: (cringes at word spell)

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Dawn: I guess I'll head up to bed too, are you ok?

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Willow: Yeah I'm fine Goodnight

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Dawn: Night, Willow

Willow watched Dawn go upstairs and she went to the back porch, where she looked up at the stars and began to cry, as she did every night over her lost love.

The magic box was looking better everyday and Anya had gone from hating Xander to merely disliking him... a lot.

Xander and Giles had rebuilt the front part of the store and were finishing up the wall that separated The shop from Buffy's training room.

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Giles: Xander will you hand me that hammer

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Xander: Sure thing G-man

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Anya: I'm going to go home, make sure you lock up and don't brake anything that isn't already broken

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Xander: OK see ya Anya

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Anya: Goodnight, Giles... Xander

They watched Anya walk out.

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Giles: I still haven't gotten that whole story you know

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Xander: What?

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Giles: What happen with you and Anya

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Xander: Oh that story, well you heard the big details of it, I freaked, left Anya at the alter, she got mad and became a demon again, got happy with Spike right here in this Magic shop and Willow, Buffy, Warren, Andrew, Jonathon and I all got a front row seat to watch and now we're here and I have no idea were I'm going from here.

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Giles: (laughs)

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Xander: What? What's so funny?

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Giles: (pats his shoulder)Xander, (laughs) You finally grew up (goes back to work)

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Xander: (confused) What do you mean by that?

Spike told Clem everything starting with what Happen with Buffy and how he got he soul restored.

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Spike: I can't stand the guilt, It's to much.

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Clem: Have you talked to Buffy yet?

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Spike: She wouldn't give me a chance.

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Clem: Well your gonna have to make her listen, cause I think you guys belong together it's your destiny

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Spike: (softly) Bloody Hell, she hates destiny

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Clem: Maybe you can give her a better view on things

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Spike: Maybe... I'll go see her tomorrow, first thing

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Clem: First thing tomorrow night right?

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Spike: No, first thing, do you reckon they will be at the magic shop?

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Clem: Yeah, they have been rebuilding it ever since Xander brought Willow back to her old self

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Spike: What? What happen here when I was gone?

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Clem: Tara, the nice witch, Willow's friend she was shot by one of those bad guys that had bothered Buffy all last year she died. (pauses) Willow went all-evil with the Magics and it took a lot to bring her back.

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Spike: Wow, I guess I'll get the full story, I'm going to tell them all they all deserve to hear

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Clem: Well you got a plan 

The next day Buffy, Willow and Dawn met Xander, Anya and Giles at the Magic shop for another long day working on the shop.

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Buffy: Geez, how long were you guys here to last night you got a lot done

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Xander: We still have a lot to do though

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Buffy: Well lets get started then

They got started on their work. Soon after the back wall was completed. The smoking form of Spike charged into the shop

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Xander: (starts towards him) Your not welcome here Spike

Spike dropped the smoking blanket on the ground and looked at Buffy

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Buffy: Get out Spike you... (trails off)

Buffy saw Spike's Blue eyes through the thinning smoke, something had changed. She had seen that look before, his eyes were sincere, like when Willow restored Angel's...

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Buffy: Oh my God

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AN: see what Buffy does in the next installment of Grief, Spike's Confession.

PLEASE REVIEW!!!


	3. Spike's Confession

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AN: THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH FOR YOUR REVIEWS!!!!!! Here's Chapter three It's short but It has a lot of interaction between Buffy and Spike.

Buffy and Spike shared Eye contact for what seemed like forever.

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Spike: I need to talk to you Buffy

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Buffy: (nods) We can go in the Training room

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Xander: Excuse me? Buffy why are you...?

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Buffy: Xander, Please

Buffy and Spike walked Back into the Training room while the Scooby Gang stared wide-eyed at them. Buffy sat on her balance beam.

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Buffy: OK Spike I think you have a lot to talk about

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Spike: (nods) After I left your house that night, I was so angry at you and myself, I headed for Africa I wanted the chip out, I wanted revenge, I wanted to kill you...

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Buffy:(cuts him off) And you never wanted to kill me before?

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Spike: I wanted to kill you more then I had ever had before, you hurt me that night Buffy, the words you said to me they tore up my dead heart, when you said "Ask me again why I could never love you" I-I just realized What I did... that I crossed the line, I went back to my crypt I knew about a demon in Africa I was going to go get this bloody chip out, I wanted to go back to the way I was before, I wanted to give you what you deserved (pauses) The demon made me go through three trials then he gave me what I wanted.

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Buffy: You got the chip out?

Buffy became alarmed Spike could be dangerous, he might be able to kill her and all of her friends, she tensed up ready to strike if he made a move.

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Spike: That's not what I wanted though, That's what I thought I wanted, All I could think about when I was there was how I was going to get back at you. The demon saw through my anger and he knew what I really wanted... (trails off)

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Buffy: Your soul

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Spike: (looks at her surprised) How did you?

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Buffy: Your eyes, Angel he had the same look when Willow restored his soul.

They sat in silence taking everything in, Buffy relaxed she was right Spike had a soul like Angel, a scary thought raced through her head:

_I could be with him and he would never leave me. _

She shook the thought away, no not after what he did to her.

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Spike: Buffy, I know this wont mean anything to you, but it will to me (pauses) I've done a lot of bad things and I'm suffering... like Angel did. But the one thing that's haunting me is the look on your face after what I tried to do to you. I feel more guilt over that then anything else, the look of pain and fear on your face. I want to say I'm sorry and I don't know why I became so obbessed and I'm sorry and I love you Buffy and no matter how much you don't want me to I will always love you.

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Buffy: (looks at her hands) I was so scared that night, more scared then I had ever been, even when I jumped off that tower to save Dawn. I hope your not coming in here, with a soul to try to win me back, because it doesn't work that way, I don't know if I'll ever get over what you tried to do but I do forgive you because you came here and confronted me and I-I believe that you are truly sorry.

They didn't say anything, talking was heard in the other room so was the telephone ringing and someone picking it up. Buffy looked over at Spike tears were glistening in his blue eyes he wasn't expecting her to except his apology.

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Spike: I love you pet... I always will

Buffy looked at Spike, there was meaning in his words, she did love him she was just to scared to admit it... Till now.

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Buffy: I lov- 

Buffy was cut off by Giles' frantic call

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Giles: Buffy! Buffy come here!!

Buffy and Spike rushed into the main room, Spike's dead heart was now completely broken she was so close, so close to telling him the words they both needed to hear.

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Buffy: what? What is it Giles?

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Giles: That was Wesley on the phone... Angel and Cordelia are Missing.

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AN: Ok That was chapter 3 keep on the look at for Chapter four: Trouble in LA coming soon. Thanks for reading PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!


	4. News, News and More News

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AN: Here's Chapter four. Sorry about the wait I have been working on other fics and I have final exams this week and next week I get of school on the 18th I CAN'T WAIT!!! Well I'll stop blabbing here's the next installment of Grief.

Buffy looked at Giles, a grim expression on her face.

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Buffy: What do you mean missing?

The rest of the slayerettes waited for Giles' answer.

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Giles: (Fumbles with Glasses) Well Buffy, it seems that Angel and Cordelia went to meet somewhere in LA and they never returned to the hotel, Wesley tells me that the situation has gotten a little more complicated the past couple of months and that Angel and Cordelia have been missing for three months

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Buffy: Three months? And this is when they decide to tell us and what's gotten more complicated Giles? is some new evil rising?

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Giles: No Buffy but I'm not sure how to tell you this but Angel, he has a son

Shocked expressions went around the room, Buffy was speechless, she didn't know how to react to this news, should she be happy for him? Or mad at him for not telling her? Buffy had no idea how Angel could have a son, he told her himself it was impossible for vampires to have children. Then a troublesome thought went through her head:

What if he's human?

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Spike: I thought Vampires couldn't have children

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Giles: (harshly) They're not

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Xander: So how are we going to deal with this?

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Buffy: (looks at her friends) I'm going to LA... Tonight

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Xander: Not alone

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Buffy: I'm not

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Xander: does that mean we go home and pack our bags?

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Anya: (loudly) NO! Xander can't leave I need him to rebuild the shop he can't leave it the way it is and he might... (trials off)

Everyone ignored Anya's outburst but Xander he looked at his soulmate, she had been acting strangely for some time now, they made eye contact and Anya looked away.

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Buffy: Spike will come with me

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Xander: (attention snaps back to Buffy) WHAT? after all he's done you still want to be with him?

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Buffy: I don't want to be with him Xander, I just think he will be able to back me up if I need it

Buffy's words hurt Spike, she never knew how much her words hurt him

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Xander: So now that he's back, you don't need our help anymore?

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Buffy: I do need you, all of you I just think we should scope out what's going on Angel's son might be dangerous

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Giles: No Buffy, he's not, Angel's son is human

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Buffy: (looks at Giles) ok well...

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Dawn: I could go, I mean I am pretty good in a fight

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Buffy: Dawn I...

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Dawn: Come on I've done really good this summer I only got hurt once or twice 

and not that bad come on Buffy Please??

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Buffy: (looks at Giles)

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Giles: It's your decision Buffy not mine

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Buffy: (Sighs) ok

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Dawn: Yes!

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Xander: I still don't think you should go with him (looks angrily at Spike)

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Spike: What is with you people don't you believe in second chances?!

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Xander: Yeah we do just not with vampires

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Spike: What about Peaches? He sure became a registered member of the Scooby's after all he did when he went evil

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Xander: That was sort of different, Spike, He had a soul

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Buffy: (softly) Spike has a soul

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Xander: What?

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Buffy: Spike, he has a soul

Everyone was silent as they absorbed more surprising news

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Spike: (Sighs) I shouldn't have come back

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Xander: Maybe your right

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Buffy: Xander did you just hear what I just said? He has a soul

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Xander: I don't care he did far more worse then Angel ever did

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Spike: I'm sorry is that what you wanna hear? huh? I'm sorry for everything I have ever done and I do feel bad, OK so Xander you poof, you can wallow in your manliness for once, you got Spike to apologize to you, of all people(walks into Training room)

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Buffy: (shakes head and follows Spike)

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Willow: You didn't have to go off on him Xander

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Xander: Why not Will? After all he did...

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Willow: (cuts him off) He's suffering, can't you see it? He has all this guilt and it must have taken a lot for him to apologize to you and you just blow up in his face

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Xander: He can never take back what he did (walks out of Magic shop)

Buffy and Spike walked out after Xander left, Buffy had made up her mind.

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Buffy: Here's the deal Spike, Dawn and Willow are going to come to LA with me Giles, Xander and Anya you stay here and keep Sunnydale under control, we will call you when we get to LA tonight

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Giles: Are you sure you want to do this Buffy?

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Buffy: Yes I'm sure

They left for the Bus station at dusk.

*In LA*

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Gunn: Why did you call them we have everything under control here

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Wesley: No we don't, we have no idea where we can start looking for Angel and Cordy, you should have contacted me sooner

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Gunn: You were the one that said not to come to your door ever again

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Wesley: (ignores Comment) I'm sure we will have better luck with the slayer here

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Gunn: I hope your right... you do know that she will have questions right? I mean she is expecting a baby not a teenager, especially not one that grew up in a hell dimension

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Wesley: We will explain everything in good time

They stood in silence till Fred charged down the stairs.

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Fred: Wesley! Charles! there's been a sighting of a rampaging teenager on main street it might be Conner!

Gunn and Wesley raced out the door in hopes to catch the only child sired by the vampire with a soul. 

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AN: OK Look for Chapter five pretty soon and Keep the good reviews coming!!!! PLEASE REVIEW!!!!

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	5. The Poof, The Upper Realm, and The Big S...

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AN: Here's Chapter Five!! I'm warning everyone now If you have read any of my other Fanfics you will notice the chapters are short so cut me some slack there, in the next two chapters it's mostly The Scooby gang and the Fang gang reacquainting and Anya's surprise thrown in there somewhere , there is also a appearance by None other then Angel and Cordelia!!! Here's Chapter five and be nice in your reviews as you have been thanks!!!

Buffy laid her head back on the charter bus seat, they had been on the road for over an hour but it felt like forever. Dawn and Willow were sitting next to each other playing hang-man and Tic-tac-toe. Spike was a few seats in front of Buffy. He was suffering Buffy could practically feel it. She went and sat next to him.

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Buffy: You ok Spike?

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Spike: What does it matter to you?

His voice was harsh, he was mad and Buffy knew why.

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Buffy: It matters... I think

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Spike: (sarcastically) Yeah, ok pet

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Buffy: I know you're mad about what was said at the Magic shop, you have to get over it

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Spike: Ok love I'll get right on it

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Buffy: You are over using the sarcasm Spike and you're brooding 

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Spike: What?! No I'm not

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Buffy: (stands up) Yes you are you have come down with I'm a Vampire with a soul syndrome (smirks) Symptom number one Brooding, Symptom Number two moodiness. I think you've come down with it

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Spike: I'm nothing like that poof Peaches 

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Buffy: You do know that you are going to have to get along with him

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Spike: I know, but we have to find him first

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Buffy: (sits back down next to him) I hope we do in time

They sat in silence, Spike glanced over at his soulmate.

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Spike: (clears throat) Um Buffy, at the shop you were about to say something before Giles interrupted us.

Buffy knew that Spike knew that she was about to confess her love to him . Buffy had the courage then to tell him those three words that she had been hiding from him for over a year and a half, But know that she's heard of Angel and his son it could wait.

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Buffy: It's not the time or place Spike I'm sorry

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Spike: When will it be Buffy? I've waited long enough

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Buffy: Then you'll just have to wait a little longer, I have a lot on my mind now

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Spike: Yeah Angel that's what's on your mind, I saw your face after Giles said he had a son.

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Buffy: That's not the point

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Spike: It bloody well is Buffy, you think he is human and you can finally have true happiness with him and leave old Spike behind

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Buffy: Spike not right now I can't deal with this (gets up and goes to original seat)

Spike stared back out the window, he couldn't help but smile he would have his love soon enough he just had to make sure Angel doesn't get her first.

Cordelia Chase was bored, being a higher being had it's perks but it was so boring to Cordy's standards. The first thing that bothered her was that she hadn't had a vision since she came to the upper realm, the second thing was that she felt horrible for standing up Angel, he sounded so happy on the phone everything was coming together for him, he had his son back and he was about to hear Cordelia express her love to him and he will never get to hear those words because she had no choice but to come to the upper realm and it broke her heart, till a flash appeared before her eyes it was of Angel and he was in trouble.

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Cordelia: SKIP!!! SKIP!!!!

The demon guide appeared before her.

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Skip: No need to yell

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Cordelia: I have to go back to LA

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Skip: Cordelia I already explained the consequences of this to you, you go back and you lose the visions and you will be fully human again.

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Cordelia: I willing to risk it the man I love is in trouble

Skip looked at her sternly and nodded, Cordelia couldn't help but smile. She would soon save Angel, if she got to him in time.

He left the magic shop furious, not just with Spike but with himself. He had acted like a total idiot. Xander was worried sick about Buffy, Dawn and Willow, but he was more worried about Anya she had been acting really strange lately ever since they started speaking like civilized people again. Xander went to pick up the phone to call her when there was a knock on his door then, Anya walked in she looked very tense and scared.

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Xander: Anya!? what's wrong?

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Anya: (worriedly) Xander we're in trouble, big trouble

Xander suddenly became worried something might have happened to Buffy, Dawn or Willow

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Xander: What? What trouble?

Anya began to pace around the room.

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Anya: (talking fast and Mostly to herself) I've known for a while now, and you deserve to know and I should tell you cause I can't risk you getting hurt or leaving me....(trails off)

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Xander: An, slow down just tell me what's wrong

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Anya: We need to get married, we can elope and we don't have to have our families together and maybe you won't run this time

Xander could see tears clouding Anya's eyes and for the first time she showed him how much he hurt her. 

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Xander: Anya please tell me what's wrong

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Anya: We need to get married so our (talks fast) childdoesn'tgrowupwithoutafather

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Xander: (hopes he didn't hear what he just heard) W-what?

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Anya: Xander I'm carrying your child

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AN: OK I knew her little surprise was a little obvious but you know. I haven't typed up chapters six and seven up but they are already to be typed when I get around to doing it With FFN being shut down for so long I haven't been able to update or do anything do stay tuned for _Chapter six: Connor_

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	6. Conner

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AN: OK sorry about the wait here's Chapter 6 things are going to get a little more confusing and this chapter is pretty short sooo please review!!

Wesley was waiting at the Los Angeles bus terminal for Buffy and her friends. An hour earlier he and Gunn had tried once again to capture Conner but had no luck. Wesley was preparing himself for any questions Buffy might have, trying to figure out he can explain things to her without telling a few details. He stood up when the bus arrived, he expected Willow and Dawn but surely not Spike.

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Buffy: Hey Wesley

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Wesley: Hello Buffy, may I ask what he is doing here?

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Spike: Buffy let me join the search party you don't mind do you mate?

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Buffy: (rolls her eyes) Spike has a soul, OK lets go

Once Wesley started the engine of Angel's convertible, the questions started.

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Buffy: OK Wes you were a little cryptic with Giles on the phone now tell us details

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Wesley: I will explain everything at the hotel

Buffy sat back in the seat, with her arms crossed and looked out at the people walking around, then she saw some commotion in an alleyway.

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Buffy: Hey Wesley, pull over Vampires

Wesley pulled the car over and Buffy Jumped out stake in hand. A boy was fending himself pretty well against the Vampires but he was going to lose, Buffy could see that. She took the two closest by surprising them from behind then went after the one that had the boy pinned. She pulled him off the boy.

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Buffy: Why don't you pick on someone your own size (stakes him) 

Buffy looked at the boy he looked fifteen or sixteen and had messy brown hair and dark brown eyes. He looked mad.

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Buffy: You, OK?

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Conner: I was before you got here

****

Buffy: Huh? I just saved your butt!

****

Conner: I can handle myself (turns and runs off)

****

Buffy: (grabs his shirt) hey don't I at least get a thank you?

Conner turned and punched Buffy, she was surprised but punched him back twice as hard. He fell to the ground knocked out.

****

Buffy: (rubbing cheek) Oops, hey Wesley, Spike come here for a sec

The Vampire and Ex-watcher came in to the alley. Wesley gasped.

****

Buffy: You know him? Is he human cause he fights pretty well

****

Wesley: He's human all right, he learned his skills from his father

He looked at Buffy she wasn't catching on.

****

Wesley: This is Angel's son Conner

Buffy's eyes went wide

****

Spike: Bloody hell!

Xander had no clue of how to deal with what Anya just told him. His first instinct was to close his eyes and open them like it was all a dream. Anya stood awkwardly in front of him.

****

Anya: Do you want me to leave?

****

Xander: No, I'm just a little surprised you know

****

Anya: Now you know how I felt when D'Hoffryn told me

****

Xander: How'd he know?

****

Anya: (shrugs) He took my powers away, told me having them and being a demon was killing my baby and he took them away.

****

Xander: Do you know how far along you are?

****

Anya: D'Hoffryn said two months, me being a demon slowed everything down

Anya looked at Xander, tears were running down his face. She went over to him and they embraced crying in each others arms.

****

Anya: Never ever leave me again

****

Xander: I wont Anya, I promise

Skip had conferred with the powers and they were going to allow Cordelia to go back to her home plane, the only consequences would be she would lose her visions and become fully human again. Cordelia agreed all she wanted to do was tell Angel how much she loved him. Skip appeared before her telling her it was time to go. As she became human, the pain was unbearable. it felt like a part of her was being torn away. The last thing she remembered was a bright light and hoping she wasn't dead.

It was cold and dark, he could feel the waves tossing him back and forth under the ocean. Angel hadn't even tried to escape from his watery prison, he didn't even know how long he had been trapped in the steel coffin. His thoughts always dwelled on his son, who double-crossed him and the women that he loved. He wished he could just hold them both in his arms and tell them both how much he loved them, to make them understand that he would always be there. Angel felt a tear roll down his face but he couldn't wipe it away.

****

AN: I promise the next chapter will be longer, PLEASE REVIEW!!!!


	7. The Key and the Miracle Child

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AN: Sorry for the wait here's chapter Seven

After reaching the hotel and tying up Conner much to Dawn's dismay, Buffy started hammering Wesley with questions.

Buffy: ok Wesley explain

Wesley sighed Buffy hadn't change a bit form when he was assigned as her watcher almost four years ago.

****

Wesley: About four and half months ago Darla showed up here, we were very astounded at her shocking news.

****

Buffy: Please tell me the Darla your talking about isn't Angel's sire?

****

Wesley: Darla was brought back as a human and was later resired by Drusilla when she couldn't handle having a soul...

****

Spike: (looks up) when was Dru here?

****

Buffy: (elbows him) Go on

  
**Wesley: **Well Darla and Angel were together (pauses) intimately and she came back to the hotel eight months after and staked herself in order to save Conner

****

Buffy: Then what's with the sudden growth spurt?

****

Wesley: An old enemy of Angel's called Holtz was kept alive somehow by a demon called Sahjhan and he got Conner (pauses) somehow and jumped into a portal to a hell dimension that Sahjhan opened and Conner found his way back with Holtz and he must have done something to Angel at least that's what Fred, Gunn and I believe

****

Buffy: ok but what about Cordelia?

****

Wesley: (shrugs) She supposedly was going to meet Angel and they were going to talk

They sat in silence till Fred and Gunn walked in the door.

****

Gunn: We couldn't find him (sees Conner) but it seems you guys did

****

Fred: Hello everyone, is he all right?

****

Wesley: Buffy knocked him unconscious

****

Fred: ok

While Wesley and Buffy were talking to Fred and Gunn Dawn was watching Wesley he had a long scar on his neck it looked new, with out thinking she asked him about it.

****

Dawn: Where'd you get that scar?

****

Wesley: Excuse me?

****

Dawn: the scar on your neck, where did you get it?

Wesley was at a loss for words but Gunn answered Dawn's question.

****

Gunn: One of Holtz's groupies slit his throat when he was taking Conner

****

Buffy: (confused) you took Conner?

****

Wesley: I was getting him away from Angel he was going to K...

****

Fred: (cuts him off) No he wasn't the prophecy was false

****

Buffy: What are you talking about?

****

Gunn: Conner was supposed to kill some demon when he was older so the Demon changed the prophecy to save his own butt and it made Wes believe Angel was going to kill Conner

****

Buffy: (still Confused) uh huh

Cordelia woke up in her apartment her head spinning. She was alive and she had to get to Angel.

****

Cordelia: Dennis?

The phantom of her apartment answered her by opening a door. She was glad he was still there. She grabbed her keys and headed out the door. Angel needed her but before she could help him She needed her friends. She headed to the hotel.

Dawn was watching Conner, his head was bowed but she could still see some resemblance to Angel. He suddenly popped his head up making Dawn scream.

****

Buffy: Dawn, What? (Sees Conner) oh

****

Conner: (Confused, looks at Dawn) Sunny?

****

Dawn: what?

Conner snapped out of his trance and focused his attention on Buffy.

****

Conner: Let me go

****

Buffy: Let me think... I don't think so, where's Angel?

****

Conner: (smirks) where he belongs

****

Buffy: You listen to me, you better tell me where your father is before I knock you out again and maybe you won't wake up

****

Dawn: Buffy!

Buffy looked at her sister, an annoyed expression on her face.

****

Dawn: You shouldn't be so hard on him, he's had a hard life

****

Spike: Nibblet's right pet

****

Buffy: Spike, not now

****

Willow: Hey Buffy, why don't you let Dawn and Conner talk... alone

Buffy looked at Willow, then nodded understanding her plan.

****

Buffy: Wesley, why don't you guys take me and Willow to where Angel and Cordelia were supposed to meet up

****

Gunn: We looked there already

****

Buffy: I want to look again

****

Gunn: Ok

They left leaving Spike, Dawn and Conner alone, Dawn looked at Spike, he nodded and went into Wesley's office.

****

Dawn: So, how are you?

****

Conner: Is this how you plan to infiltrate me? Are you trying to trick me into telling you where Angel is?

****

Dawn: (nervous) um no Conner why do you think that?

****

Conner: My name is Steven

****

Dawn: But Wesley said...

****

Conner: Conner is what my real father called me, I grew up knowing my name was Steven

****

Dawn: Wow that must have gotten confusing

****

Conner: Why are you being so nice?

****

Dawn: because I want to

****

Conner: You have a very pretty name, Dawn

****

Dawn: (smiles) Thanks, so why are you so mean to Angel?

****

Conner: He is a demon, a monster who killed my other father's Children, then took him away from me

****

Dawn: Angel killed, your other father?

****

Conner: (nods) I held him in my arms, Justine was there, she said she was there when he died.

****

Dawn: I'm sorry... that's sorta strange though, I mean Angel hasn't killed a human in a while

****

Conner: Well he must have started again

****

Dawn: Did you give him a chance?

****

Conner: Yes, he seemed pretty cool, but he crossed the line after killing my father

****

Dawn: But Angel is your father, there is no way you can change that, he has a soul and I think he loved you a lot more then he ever loved Buffy, and they were really, really close.

****

Conner: He is still a demon even if he does have a soul

****

Dawn: Spike is a demon, probably the only family you have left if we don't find Angel

****

Conner: What do you mean?

****

Dawn: Spike: The guy with White hair, he was sired by the vampire that Angel sired so he's like your Brother or something

****

Conner: (shakes head sadly) It can't be true, it must mean I'm a monster too.

****

Dawn: No! It doesn't, I'm not completely human... well I wasn't but I'm no different form you

****

Conner: (looks at Dawn) What do you mean?

****

Dawn: I'm a key well I was a key, a mystical ball of energy sent to the slayer in human form so she would protect it.

****

Conner: But you seem so human

****

Dawn: I am now, I wasn't then, and you are human and you have a soul, like your father, like Spike and that means you can give second chances (glances at Wesley's office) Everyone deserves a second chance.

****

Conner: I think you are very wise Dawn, but I don't know how I could ever give my father a second chance

****

Dawn: What if Angel didn't kill Holtz though?

****

Conner: He had to, he was bitten

****

Dawn: Yeah but you don't need to be a vampire to make to bite marks in someone's neck

****

Conner: (eyes widen) Justine!

****

Dawn: (nods) It sounded sort of suspicious when you said she was there, I mean how could she just happen to be there?

****

Conner: (nods) ok, I will give My father a second chance, but first will you please untie me?

Cordelia burst in the door as Dawn was untying Conner.

****

Cordelia: Conner? Dawn!? what's going on

****

Dawn: Cordelia? Where have you been?

Buffy and the rest of the group walked in.

Buffy: Yeah? Where have you been?

****

Cordelia: Long story, We have to save Angel

****

AN: I Think that was longer lol well be on the look out for Chapter 8 coming soon!!!! Please review! 


	8. Hero

****

AN: Here's Chapter eight I do not Own Buffy or the song Hero

Buffy: Yeah that's why we're here, but we have no idea where he is

Cordelia looked at Buffy a worried expression on her face. 

__

"Where was Angel?"

****

Wesley: Cordelia, Angel has been missing for as long as you have, do you know where he is?

****

Cordelia: Wesley!

****

Wesley: Cordy we have to know

****

Cordelia: No I don't know where he is, I never met up with him

****

Gunn: Never met up?

****

Cordelia: I got a little sidetracked

****

Fred: For three months?

****

Cordelia: It was Powers That Be stuff

Wesley, Gunn and Fred all nodded in understanding. Cordelia was relieved that they didn't pressure her for more info about where she was. Buffy and her gang just looked at them confused.

****

Spike: (clears throat) Ah, Angel's kid, I believe he's got answers

Buffy looked at Conner, Dawn, and then back at Conner

****

Buffy: (to Dawn) Why is he untied?

****

Dawn: He's going to help us (looks at Conner) Right?

****

Conner: (Nods) My father is locked in a metal casket in the ocean

Everyone looked at him blank expressions on their faces.

****

Dawn: T-the bottom of the O-ocean?

****

Conner: Yes, I'm sorry. Dawn finally made me realize the truth; I ready to save my Father

****

Buffy: OK, lets go then

They all piled out of the hotel. They decided to take two cars because it would have been impossible to fit the nine of them in Angel's convertible, then Angel when they saved him. Before spike got in the back seat of Cordelia's car with Willow he stopped Buffy.

****

Spike: (softly) Hey slayer, I-I just wanted to tell you, we don't have a lot of time left, the sun should be coming up soon.

Buffy nodded and got in the front seat, with Cordelia. Spike sighed and got in the car. They headed towards the LA Marina.

Once they got there, their hardest task was to find a boat that ran. They finally found an old rickety one similar to the one Conner and Justine used, to dump Angel.

No one noticed as they head out to sea, the woman in the shadows, waiting and watching ready to thwart their plan.

Conner told them the coordinates where Angel should be and they set sail. Buffy, Wesley, Gunn and Fred were trying to get Cordelia to tell them what happened, three months before with the Powers, but she wasn't giving much away. Dawn and Conner stood side by side talking by the ships controls. Willow sat by herself, staring at the stars; Spike went and sat next to her.

****

Spike: (worriedly) You, OK red?

Willow nodded, not looking at him.

The two of them sat in silence, a murmur of voices, the waves and the engine around them. Spike looked up at the sky.

****

Spike: They are beautiful

****

Willow: (looks at him) What?

****

Spike: The stars

****

Willow: (gives him small smile) Yeah they are

****

Spike: I'm sorry about Tara

Willow looked at Spike, a look of shock and sorrow on her face.

****

Spike: Oh, Sorry I didn't mean too...

****

Willow: (hint of tear in voice) N-no it's OK

****

Spike: Red... Willow if it means anything, I do know what it feels like... Now more then ever

Willow looked at and smiled at him sadly. She understood the sincerity and understanding in his voice.

****

Spike: I know what it's like to lose someone you love, then make wrong desicions because of it

Spike quickly glanced at Buffy, and then he looked back at Willow.

****

Willow: I know what you mean

****

Spike: If you ever need to talk...

****

Willow: She does love you Spike

Spike looked at Willow confused then he understood.

****

Spike: Willow I...

****

Conner: We're Here!

****

Buffy: (sarcastically) What a wonderful Dumping spot

Conner glared at her then began to take off his boots.

****

Buffy: What are you doing?

****

Conner: Going to get my Father

****

Cordelia: You Can't! Do you have any idea how deep he might be?

****

Wesley: You might Drown Conner

Buffy looked at Spike.

****

Spike: (sighs) OK I'll go

****

Gunn: Why him?

****

Buffy: Spike's a Vampire

****

Gunn: A vampire?

****

Buffy: He has a Soul

****

Gunn: A soul? I though only Angel...?

****

Buffy: Not anymore, just drop it, Spike has a soul he's a good Vampire and he won't drown

Spike smirked and began to remove his boots, Duster and socks. Conner handed him a crowbar.

****

Conner: You might need this

Spike nodded and jumped into the icy cold water. He looked left and right trying to spot anything through the dark murky waters. After he had been swimming for what seemed like an eternity, his leg hit something hard.

****

Spike: (very Muffled) Bloody Hell!

Then he realized it was what he was looking for. He looked into the window of the metal coffin, to see his grandsire; his eyes closed a look of deep sadness and despair on his face. Spike began to work on getting the door off with the crowbar.

Angel opened his eyes after hearing the groaning and clanking of metal against metal. He could not see his savior till the door was torn off his metal prison and Spike was ripping the restraints. From around him. Then the two Vampires headed towards the surface.

****

Willow: There they are!

Buffy and Conner helped Angel onto the deck of the boat. He spit out water and looked up at Buffy.

****

Angel: Buffy?

****

Buffy: (soft Whisper) Angel

They embraced; Buffy laid her head on Angel's shoulder. As she closed her eyes, Spike saw a single tear roll down her cheek and at that moment he figured out he was right and he had lost his chance.

__

Would you dance?

If I asked you to dance?

Would you run

And never look back?

Would you cry

If you saw me cryin?

Would you save my soul tonight?

Spike pulled himself up onto the boat, a deep impending sorrow coming down on him. He had just lost the one woman he had ever truly loved. He watched Buffy hold her first love tightly not noticing the sad look on Cordelia's face.

She had followed them at a safe distance, somehow, they had talked Steven into Saving Angel and she wasn't going to let Holtz's dying wish gone undone.

Spike sadly turned away from the scene in front of him and looked out into the water. He saw a flash of light and heard a low rumble, followed by a muffled splash. No one else seemed to notice.

__

Would you tremble

If I touched tour lips?

Would you laugh?

Oh please tell me this

Now would you die

for the one you love?

Hold me in your arms tonight.

Spike turned around to see Angel and Buffy release each other and Conner immediately latch onto his father.

****

Conner: I'm sorry Dad, I'm sorry

Angel took his son in his arms and he held him as a bright light surrounded them both. It didn't take a genius to figure out, the Powers were making Angel human as he suddenly let go of Conner Breathing rapidly. Everyone, even Spike was to shocked to notice the woman climbing onto the boat, ready to strike at any moment.

I can be your hero, baby

I can I can kiss away the pain

I will stand by you forever

You can take my breath away

****

Conner:Y-Your Alive!

****

Angel: (hugs Conner) Yes, yes I am

Angel quickly glanced at Cordelia over Conner's Shoulder, she was smiling.

****

Fred: Wow! Angel this is great!

****

Gunn: Yeah it is

Wesley kept his distance from Angel afraid of certain consequences. Buffy stood shocked till a wave of happiness came over her and she forgot about her love for Spike.

****

Dawn: (grinning) See Conner, I told you

****

Conner: Thank you Dawn for letting me see pat the demon.

While all of the happiness was going on Buffy and Spike both saw the woman edging closer towards Angel. It was Justine.

__

Would you swear

That you'll always be mine?

Would you lie?

Would you rub in mine?

Am I in to deep?

Have I lost my mind?

I don't care your here tonight.

****

Buffy: Angel behind you!!

As Angel turned Justine began to make her move drawing a stake from her soaked Jeans. Buffy quickly got in front of Angel, to take Justine's attack, but as Justine brought the stake down, Spike pushed Buffy out of the way. The stake came down and hit spike in the Chest. It just missed his heart.

__

I can be your hero, baby

I can kiss away the pain

I will stand by you forever

You can take my breath away

****

Buffy: Spike! Are you all right?

Spike shakily stood up, Stake protruding from his chest, he made no attempt to remove it. Wesley and Gunn took down Justine, before she could attack again. Spike looked at Buffy.

****

Buffy: Spike?

****

Spike: I love you Buffy

****

Buffy: (sighs) Spike not now

****

Spike: I love you, remember that always

****

Buffy: Spike... not here

Spike reached and pulled the Stake from his chest, grimacing in pain.

****

Spike: I love you Buffy

He raised the stake.

****

Buffy: (concerned) Spike? What are you doing?

__

Have I gone too deep?

Have I lost my mind?

Well, I don't care you're here tonight.

****

Spike: I'm Giving you what you deserve Buffy

****

Buffy: Spike, stop this... give me the stake

****

Spike: (steps Back) I know now I can never love you the way I want to, but at least I can make you happy, you deserve that

Then Spike did the unexpected; he plunged the stake into his chest, telling Buffy he loved her one last time before he turned to ashes.

I can be your hero, baby

I can kiss away the pain

I will stand by you forever

You can take my breath away

****

Buffy: (shocked) S-spike, oh no Spike

Dawn was in tears, as well as Willow who had just grown to understand the White-haired vampire. Buffy fell to her knees, shaking with sobs.

__

You can take my breath away

The wind picked up and blew Spike's ashes away. He was gone

__

I can be your hero

****

AN: PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!


	9. Remembering his love

****

AN: OK after being threatened to be hurt badly if I didn't bring Spike back let me clear up a few things I love Spike, so believe me the Big Bad will be back and so will someone else, so be prepared for surprises and the Angel crossover ends in Chapter Ten. Here's chapter nine.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Buffy Quotes used in this story except for the last one used and I do not own the song I will remember you, I did change a couple words in a verse but don't sue I was just making it fit into the story more.

Anya waited impatiently by the phone. Buffy still hadn't called. Xander and Giles kept themselves from not worrying that much by working on the magic shop. Xander and Anya had told Giles their happy news and Xander told Anya to stay put so she wouldn't get hurt.

Anya didn't really like being overprotected but she was overjoyed at Xander's reaction about becoming a father, so she sat by the phone like her told her too.

It was almost dawn when they became really worried.

****

Xander: They should have called by now

His first thought was: _"He better not have hurt them"_,when Giles finally mentioned the time and the three of them went and waited by the phone.

****

Anya: Maybe they are out looking for Angel

****

Giles: (nods) I agree with Anya, I'm sure Buffy will call when everyone is safe.

So they waited.

* * *

Buffy was a complete wreak, she allowed no one near her, she sat on the boat, her knees pulled up to her chest, her head laid on them.

Willow watched her best friend worriedly. She looked at Angel who looked just as worried.

****

Willow: Angel, Buffy and Spike...they sort of had a relationship

****

Angel: Did he love her?

****

Willow: (nods) More then anything, she kept him at a distance like she did with all of us after we brought her back, but he kept pushing her and finally she did really come back to us, she was Buffy again, but I think it made Spike a little upset because she still pushed him away

****

Angel: But Spike, he didn't have a soul, how could he love her?

****

Willow: He did Angel, but Before the government put a chip in his head and he helped us and he fell in love with Buffy, it was a big obsession thing at first, but three months ago he crossed the line and he left, he came back two days ago and he said he had a soul, we didn't know the details

Angel didn't say anything, he just watched Buffy sadly, knowing what it was like to lose a loved one and how lost you can feel because of it.

When the boat reached shore, Conner and Dawn who was still crying got off first and headed towards the parked convertible, Fred, Gunn and Wesley did the same.

Willow came off the boat with Buffy, who seemed to be going into another coma-like state. Angel, Willow, Cordelia and Buffy all headed to the hotel together. Willow sat in the back with Buffy trying her best to comfort her and Angel couldn't help but give Cordelia a lovingly glance as she turned on the radio. 

The song "I will remember you" came pouring from the speakers and put Buffy in a worse mood.

The song made her think more of Spike and the things that she lost.

__

I will remember you

Will you remember me?

Don't let your life pass you by

Weep not for the memories.

The first thing that popped into Buffy's mind as she listened to the lyrics was when Buffy and Spike first admitted their love to one another, even though it was only a spell.

**__**

Buffy: Spike and I are getting married!

****

Xander: How? What? How?

****

Giles: Three excellent questions

****

Spike: (to Buffy) What are you looking at?

****

Buffy: The man I love

More tears rolled down her face as she remembered.

__

Remember the good times that we had?

I let them slip away from us when things got bad

How clearly I first saw grinning in the moonlight

Wanna feel your touch upon me I wanna hold you tight.

Buffy laid her head on the window, watching everything pass by. He had always been there... always. To comfort her and hold her, but he was gone.

__ ****

Buffy: What is it now?

****

Spike: What's wrong?

****

Buffy: I don't want to talk about it

****

Spike: Is there something I can do?

Gone and never coming back.

__

I will remember you

Will you remember me?

Don't let your life pass you by

Weep not for the memories.

Willow looked at her best friend sadly and placed her hand on Buffy's shoulder. Buffy looked at her, face red and filled with sorrow. She put her head on Willow's shoulder and began to sob.

**__**

Buffy: Why are you always around when I'm miserable?

****

Spike: Cause that's when your alone. I reckon. I'm not much for crowds these days

****

Buffy: Me neither

****

Spike: Works out nicely then

She always liked it when he was around, but she never admitted that to herself.

__

I'm so tired but I can't sleep

Standin' on the edge of something much too deep

It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word

We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard.

Angel looked back at the crying, broken form of his former lover. She didn't deserve to feel like she was. Angel knew Spike had changed even before Willow told him, he also knew that he was one of the reasons, why spike did what he did.

**__**

Spike: You should have let him kill me

****

Buffy: I couldn't

****

Spike: Why?

****

Buffy: You know why

****

Spike: Because you love me

****

Buffy: No, I don't

****

Spike: Why are you always lying to yourself?

****

Buffy: I'm not saying I don't have feelings for you. I do. But it's not love. I could never trust you enough for it to become that

She always lied to him about her feelings, but he always knew the truth.

__

But I will remember you

Will you remember me?

Don't let your life pass you by

Weep not for the memories.

Dawn looked out the back of Angel's car, she could see her sister in the car behind them. Buffy's head was on Willow's shoulder staring into space. Dawn felt more tears roll down her face as Conner wrapped his arms around her, she welcomed his warm touch.

**__**

Spike: I do remember what I said. The promise, to protect her. If I'd done that...even if I didn't make it, you wouldn't've had to jump. I want you to know I did save you. Not when it counted, of course. But after that. Every night after that. I'd see it all again, do something different. Faster, or more clever, you know? Dozen's of times, lots of different ways... every night I save you.

He saved her this night, but she couldn't save him.

__

I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose

clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose

Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night

You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light

Cordelia didn't know how to react, she didn't know the whole story with Spike and she didn't know how Angel felt about her now that he was human. She looked in the rearview mirror at Buffy worried but feeling horrible because she loved Angel so much.

**__**

Buffy: I'm using you. I can't love you. I'm just being weak, and selfish--

****

Spike:--Really not complaining here--

****

Buffy:--and it's killing me. I have to be strong about this, I'm sorry...William

He never complained, he just loved her.

__

And I will remember you

Will you remember me?

Don't let your life pass you by

Weep not for the memories

Buffy looked at Willow, tears still streaming down her face.

****

Buffy: I love him

****

Willow: Buffy...

****

Buffy: Will, I loved him and I never got to tell him

****

Willow: He knew Buffy, believe me he knew

Buffy began to sob once more.

**__**

Spike: I can't. I love you

****

Buffy: No, you don't

****

Spike: You think I haven't tried not to?

She had to stop hiding her feelings from everyone.

__

And I will remember you

Will you remember me?

Don't let your life pass you by

Weep not for the memories

They pulled in front of the hotel, Angel turned and looked at Buffy.

****

Angel: Are you alright?

Buffy shook her head and got out of the car with Willow.

**__**

Spike: I'm giving you what you deserve, Buffy

****

Buffy: Spike, Stop this... give me the stake

****

Spike: I know I can never love you the way I want to, but at least I can make you happy

Happy. He wanted her to be happy.

__

Weep not for the memories.

Once they were in the hotel Buffy pretty much isolated herself from everyone. Willow called home.

Anya who was half asleep jumped when the shrill sound filled the silent magic shop. Xander answered it.

****

Xander: (worriedly) Buffy?

****

Willow: No, It's Willow

****

Xander: Oh, well is everything all right, you didn't call

****

Willow: We were a little sidetracked in finding Angel and all that stuff

****

Xander: What about Cordy?

****

Willow: She just showed up she was called to be a higher being by the powers that be

****

Xander: This is Cordelia Chase we're talking about right?

****

Willow: (sternly) Xander... that's besides the point things have gotten worse

****

Xander: What? Did Angel lose his soul? Did his son turn into some little baby vampire? (smirks at his own little joke)

****

Willow: No, And Angel's son isn't a baby he's sixteen, I think

****

Xander: Huh?

****

Willow: Don't worry about it, Buffy she's a wreak

****

Xander: Why? What happened?

****

Willow: Spike...

****

Xander: (cuts her off angrily) What did he do to her?

****

Willow: He saved her life Xander... then he took his own

****

Xander: (sarcastically) Well now the world can be a better place

****

Willow: Alexander LaVelle Harris! You can never see what's right in front of your face can you? Buffy loved him and she will not come near anyone, she's falling apart and you still can't get past your differences with Spike for Buffy

****

Xander: (softly) Willow... I

****

Willow: I'm not the one you have to apologize to, we'll be home this afternoon then I'll fill you guys in on what happened here.

****

Xander: ok Will

****

Willow: Bye Xander

****

Xander: Bye

(Hangs up)

Buffy was sitting on the hotel stairs looking out the window that showed the sunlit courtyard. She didn't notice Angel come sit next to her.

****

Angel: Buffy?

****

Buffy: I don't want to talk

****

Angel: Ok Then I will, Buffy, Willow told me about Spike... about you and Spike and it's ok that your upset, you loved me

****

Buffy: (looks at him) It was different with you

****

Angel: Was it?

****

Buffy: Yes, very different

****

Angel: In what way?

****

Buffy: (looks at her feet) I wasn't using you

****

Angel: (surprised) What?

Buffy looked at him guiltily and looked back out the window, new tears rolling down her face. Angel wiped them away and Buffy closed her eyes liking his warm touch.

****

Angel: Don't be so hard on yourself Buffy, his death isn't your fault

Buffy didn't respond, she looked deep in thought, then she looked at Angel a sudden realization had came to her eyes.

****

Buffy: I-It was my fault Angel, he saw me with you, I was so happy, and forgot about him...A-all... everything we went through...\

More tears rolled down her cheeks.

Buffy: He saw it coming Angel, he knew Angel, it is my fault

****

Angel: What did he see coming?

****

Buffy: He saw the chance of me falling in love with you again

A nervous expression swept across Angel face, he needed to tell Buffy the truth about his feelings, even though telling her might brake her heart even more.

****

Angel: Buffy, you do know that it could never work again between us right?

Buffy looked at Angel confused, her face red and wet with tears

****

Buffy: I don't know? What are you trying to say?

****

Angel: Buffy, I'm going to tell you something that... that might be a little hard to say to you now but I can't let you leave here with out knowing, but you have to remember I do care about you an I do love you but...

Buffy looked at Angel with a "Get on with it" look through her sorrow filled face.

****

Angel: I'm in love with Cordelia

** *

The first feeling he felt was a rush of wind then the sensation of falling, then he hit the ground with a soft thump. He looked up to see a familiar face, smiling brightly at him, he stood up, shocked at the form in front of him.

__

"I've been waiting for you"

****

AN: OOOOOOOO I wonder who the mystery people are? hmmmm well one should be obvious but the other... well you'll have to wait for Chapter ten of Grief, which I promise will have a happy ending. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!! Maybe Chapter ten will appear faster on Fanfiction if I get more reviews????

**** __ __


	10. The Spirit Guide and The prophecy

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AN: Here's chapter Ten, I wanted to thank everyone who has reviewed Grief and I hope you will keep the reviews coming cause they always make me want to update faster! Well in chapter Ten, Buffy, Willow and Dawn head back to Sunnydale after finding a prophecy that will come to pass in the near future and Buffy is still trying to cope with her feelings while she tries to go back to her slaying duties with a heavy heart.

Buffy looked at Angel, unable to say anything. He looked away from her slightly ashamed but he couldn't keep things from her, whenever he kept something from her it always ended up hurting her in someway and she was going through to much to find out on her own or from someone else, he looked back at Buffy to see her smiling sadly at him.

****

Buffy: (softly) Go tell her

****

Angel: What?

****

Buffy: Go tell Cordelia your feelings

****

Angel: Buffy I...

****

Buffy: Just go or you'll regret it later

Angel nodded understanding her words and how she knew what it was like. He walked over to Wesley's office, he took a deep breath, which seemed weird at first and went in to face his love.

Dawn came over to Buffy who had gone back to staring out the window. Dawn hated seeing Buffy like this, Dawn did love Spike too, like a brother and it hurt her to see her sister suffering over something she couldn't have stopped.

****

Dawn: Buffy?

Buffy looked at her sister, trying to smile to show that she was fine but she couldn't hide her deep sadness from Dawn.

****

Dawn: Are you ok?

****

Buffy: (nods) Yes I'm fine

****

Dawn: Your not acting like your fine

****

Buffy: What do you mean?

****

Dawn: Your blocking everyone out, even me

****

Buffy: Dawn I...

****

Dawn: Buffy I loved him too ok and right now you can't just isolate your self from everyone, we can help you, and you can help us, thank god for Conner or I would have been all alone, trying to it get through my head that I'm actually never going to see Spike Again...

Tears were spilling down Dawn's cheeks as she spoke and Buffy stood up, wrapping her arms around her sister as she sobbed. Buffy looked at Willow over Dawn's shoulder; she was talking to Wesley, Fred and Gunn. Buffy saw pain on Willow's face also and she knew Dawn was right and Buffy wasn't the only one hurt by Spike's actions.

***

He looked at the smiling face in front of him, happy to have someone familiar to explain to him what's going on. She looked at him, grinning then she spoke again, it seemed like she was speaking right into his head because her lips weren't moving.

__

"I'm your Spirit Guide, I will explain to you what's going on, you do know you are very unique"

He looked at the brunette and stood up; his whole body seemed a little numb. He looked at her and Began to speak in the same matter she spoke to him.

__

"Please explain to me what's going on, I'm confused Tara, I do believe I'm supposed to be in a hell dimension suffering an eternity of torment"

Tara looked at him and laughed, he was very confused now, what was going on why was he here? Then the features around him began to change as he watched in amazement. They were in the alleyway were he was first changed, were his life changed forever.

__

"Everything will come together soon Spike, I promise But now we must watch the past and you must make a choice"

Spike looked at Tara and nodded understanding what he had to do.

* * *

Buffy and Willow stayed behind when everyone else went out to breakfast so they could talk and catch up on some sleep.

****

Buffy: What time are we leaving for the station?

****

Willow: Around Noon, why?

****

Buffy: I just want to go home

****

Willow: Is it what you and Angel talked about earlier?

****

Buffy: (nods)

****

Willow: Ok Tell me, we haven't talked about our troubles in a while

Buffy looked at Willow, she could tell that her best friend was just trying to comfort her and it was working to a certain point.

****

Buffy: (smiles sadly) Angel loves Cordelia

****

Willow: (eyes-widen) Oh

Buffy nodded a frown forming on her face, she yawned.

****

Buffy: I'm going to try to get some sleep, ok?

Willow nodded and let Buffy fall into a sleep full of nightmares about Spike. Willow saw some books lying on the front desk so she decided to read because it looked like Angel had never owned a TV. 

She started flipping through the pages, she knew Giles didn't have a volume like this, it had a bunch of prophecies about a vampire called Uther, he was said to have been the first Vampire and through the master's bones he would be born again. 

Willow shuddered as she read more about the vampire, he was evil, worse then Angel back in his evil days. Thank goodness Buffy turned the master's bones to dust, she thought putting the book down, as she set the book down a piece of paper fell out of it. She picked it up and put it in her bag as Dawn, Conner, Angel and Cordelia walked in the door waking Buffy up.

****

Willow: Hey guys, where's everyone else?

****

Angel: Oh Wesley headed home and Gunn took Fred home too.

****

Willow: Oh (looks at her watch) We should be leaving in a few hours

****

Cordelia: I wish you guys wouldn't leave so soon, I mean it's been so long

****

Dawn: Yeah, can't we just leave tomorrow?

****

Buffy: (quickly) No

Angel looked at Buffy, knowing the reason she wanted to go home.

****

Buffy: We have stuff to do

****

Conner: Is there any Chance that Dawn could stay till tomorrow?

Buffy and Angel both looked at Conner surprised, they hadn't realized how close the two teens had gotten over the past day. Buffy looked at Dawn who had a "Please say yes" look on her face.

****

Buffy: If it's ok with Angel it's ok with Me

****

Angel: I don't mind

Dawn smiled and hugged her sister, she whispered a thank you in her ear as Conner took Dawn towards the courtyard where they sat down and talked.

****

Willow: That's a unlikely pair

****

Buffy: Why?

****

Willow: The key and the miracle child I never would have guessed it

****

Angel: What do you mean pair? They are just friends

Cordelia laughed at Angel's overprotective father behavior.

****

Angel: What?

****

Cordelia: He's what sixteen? I think he's old enough to date

Angel shook his head and looked at Buffy who was watching the spot where Dawn and Conner sat a look of sadness on her face. She would never have that again the feeling of love and affection, her one love was taking from her and she couldn't bear it.

****

Angel: Buffy?

Buffy snapped out of her trance and looked at Angel.

****

Buffy: I'm fine

* * *

Spike watched as Drusilla sank her fangs in his human self's neck, he screamed in pain and fell dead, but it didn't last long, then the scene around them changed once more, this was of his first encounter with Buffy, his heart ached with his love for the slayer, the images kept coming but Tara stopped at the one where Spike had expressed his love for Buffy. She turned to him.

****

Tara: This was when you changed Spike, This is when you started earning your redemption

****

Spike: What does it mean?

****

Tara: You are the only Vampire that was able to love...without a soul

Spike looked at Tara and nodded understanding her words. More images came before them as Spike watched his heart aching to hold Buffy one last time.

* * *

They were on the bus back to Sunnydale when Willow remembered the paper she had slipped into her bag, she took it out and unfolded it, it was handwritten and it was full of calculations, the last line on the paper startled Willow the most

__

"The First Vampire shall rise again through the dust and ashes of the master, he will live again!"

****

AN: OK I know this chapter is short but I will try to make The next chapter longer PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!


	11. Daddy

****

AN: I want to thank again everyone who has reviewed!!! So thanks I'm really enjoying writing this story and I hope you enjoy reading it, well here's chapter eleven, this chapter goes into more detail about the big Bad of the story Uther, who is actually going to be the new big bad for the seventh season, I hope I haven't spoiled anything. Here's chapter eleven!!!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except for the plot, All characters and relations belong to Mutant enemy and Joss Whedon, there is very little Angel crossover in the next chapters

Tara watched Spike as he looked at the scenes being shown before him, she had always liked Spike when she was alive, there was this energy around him that she knew was good and he was someone who was willing to use it. She could see the longing in his eyes that he had for Buffy and the hurt in his eyes with each detail from his past he saw.

****

Tara: Do you understand what your purpose is Spike?

Spike tore his eyes away from Himself and Buffy sharing there first intimate kiss and looked at Tara.

****

Spike: No, I've been trying to figure that out since I was alive

****

Tara: You always had a good soul Spike, even when you were Just William and you were trying to get by in your everyday life, you had a soul that could love, and somehow, someway a part of William came back when you had the chip put in your head.

****

Spike: That still doesn't explain my purpose

****

Tara: It does Spike, you were meant to fall in love with Buffy, you were meant to receive your soul and you were meant to spend the rest of your immortal days with Buffy

****

Spike: None of this is coming together I'm not understanding everything

****

Tara: Don't worry Spike, it will come to you

They both focused their attention back on Spike and Buffy's first true intimate moment. Tara looked at Spike and hoped he would make the right choice when the time came.

***

Willow nudged Buffy who was staring out the window, there was something stirring up at the Hellmouth and it was going to happen soon. Buffy looked at Willow.

****

Willow: Buffy look at this (shows her paper)

Buffy took the paper from her and began to read then she looked at Willow.

****

Buffy: Where did you get this?

****

Willow: One of Angel's or Wesley's books

****

Buffy: What does this mean, "He shall awaken from the dust of the master's bones" I thought we were done with the master

Willow saw a look of fear go across Buffy's face, anything relating to the master always freaked her out a little bit.

****

Willow: I'm not sure, I think we need Giles

Buffy nodded agreeing with Willow and she handed the paper back to her. They rode the rest of the way home in silence.

***

They arrived at the magic box later in the afternoon, Xander had only told Giles and Anya what Willow had told him over the phone and the three of them wanted details.

Buffy went in the training room while Willow told them, about saving Angel, Angel's son and what Spike did. Buffy was in tears as she heard bits and pieces of what Willow was saying, a few minutes later Xander laid a hand on Buffy's shoulder.

****

Xander: You ok Buff?

****

Buffy: (wipes eyes) Yeah, I'm fine

****

Xander: I just wanted to say I'm sorry

****

Buffy: (confused) What for?

****

Xander: Everything with Spike, I shouldn't have ever gone so crazy over him, it's just... what he did with Anya hurt and you know me I always have to get my two cents in about everything and I knew what I said the other day hurt him and I hope I didn't have anything to do with... ah, what he did

Buffy looked at Xander, and hugged him tears rolling down her face. She was happy that Xander finally understood the thing with her and Spike.

****

Buffy: Thank you Xander... for everything

There was a sudden shrill of surprise from the front of the shop, Buffy and Xander walked back into the main part of the shop to see, Willow hugging Anya tightly.

****

Xander: (looks at Buffy Grinning) I guess Anya told Willow our good news

****

Buffy: What good news?

But before Xander could Answer, Willow let go of Anya and latched onto Xander, she was grinning from ear to ear.

****

Willow: Why didn't you tell me over the phone Xander!, this is so great, I'm so happy for you guys?

Buffy was confused she looked at her two best friends for answers.

****

Willow: (looks at Buffy) Xander's going to be a daddy Buffy!

Buffy couldn't help but to smile in shock and she too latched onto Xander.

****

Buffy: We have to call Dawn you have to tell her

Buffy's mood had improved with Xander's news and she was so happy for her friend.

****

Anya: Can I tell her Xander?

****

Xander: (nods grinning) Yeah tell everyone in LA, I say we party tonight

Then Willow let go of Xander, a serious look on her face.

****

Willow: Not to spoil the moment, but I think we have some Hellmouth issues to deal with before we party

She took the paper from her bag and handed it to Giles

****

Willow: I was looking through some of the books at the hotel and I found that

****

Giles: (reads it over) Good lord

****

Xander: (sighs) Ok, research party

***

Spike had to turn away from the scene of him attempting to harm Buffy, this is what pained him the most, he looked at Tara, tears glistening in his blue eyes.

****

Spike: Why was I able to hurt her?

****

Tara: (looks at him) It was a test

****

Spike: a test?

****

Tara: I was a test to see if you could still love her even without the chip, when this happened (motions to the scene before them) we thought that we had lost you, but you did what we had expected you to do, you got your soul

****

Spike: How did the demon know I went for my soul and not the chip?

****

Tara: The powers work in strange ways Spike, all I can tell you is you told the demon you wanted your soul, you wanted to return to your former self.

Spike looked at the scene and back at Tara.

****

Spike: I want to know what the choices are, I've seen enough

****

Tara: Have you?

Then the scene changed to Buffy sitting on the boat in sobs, Spike knew that was after he had staked himself. he allowed Tara to go on with the scenes which had changed into Buffy's memories of him.

***

Buffy closed another book and looked at Giles.

****

Buffy: Nothing

****

Giles: I assure you, I know I have a volume on Uther, the first Vampire

****

Buffy: Is there anyway that the book Willow was looking at was that volume and Wesley must have borrowed it or something?

****

Giles: (takes off glasses) That is possible yes, I saw we should Call Wesley and ask him if I could have it back

****

Buffy: No, that would mean LA people coming here...

****

Giles: Dawn is coming home tomorrow right? We'll just ask her to bring it with her

****

Buffy: Ok, (looks at Anya) Have you called them yet?

****

Anya: (shakes head no) I will now, (looks at Giles) The prophecies on Uther right?

Giles nodded and Anya went to the phone.

****

Willow: (to Xander) So have you thought up any names yet?

****

Xander: Huh?... oh not really, you can ask Anya though... I'm sure she already has a whole list (grins happily)

Willow and Buffy smiled at Xander.

****

AN: OK I know I promised a long Chapter, but I'm trying to update faster and it's ten thirty in the morning and I should still be sleeping but I got up in order to watch one of my favorite episodes of Buffy, Crush, at eight and now I can't get back to sleep so Please Review and I will try to Keep my eyes open to write a longer chapter, PLEASE REVIEW!!! *Falls alsleep on keyboard* :-)


	12. Awakening

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AN: Ok here's Chapter twelve!! I'm really excited because most of my stories are about ten chapters long and I'm not sure how long this one is going to be and I'm soooo happy that all of you like it. In this chapter it mostly just continues where the last on leaves off but with more surprises at the end PLEASE REVIEW!!!! 

*Oh, please read the note at the end of the chapter if you want some thoughts to ponder about the show , may contain Spoilers so don't read unless you like spoilers*

Buffy left the magic shop, her spirits lifted great from when she arrived back in Sunnydale. She headed home with Willow and Giles, who was staying with Buffy till he returned to England. 

She climbed the stairs realizing how tired she was, she walked into the bathroom to take a quick shower, when her emotions just took over and she collapsed next to the bathtub in sobs, she was alone, she could cry. The one thing that sparked Buffy's sudden breakdown was the memory of what happened in this bathroom the one thing that always haunted her and Spike.

__

"I'm gonna make you feel it"

Buffy knew Spike had just gone crazy that night, but she could never really get rid of that fear and sadness that she was overwhelmed with then, she remembered something: 

"You always hurt the ones you love"

She closed her eyes and let more tears roll down her face and she walked into her bedroom and laid on her bed. She looked up at the ceiling thinking about everything that had had ever happened to her when it came to love and it always ended the same way, Angel, Riley... Spike, She was always going to be alone, she had no one. Buffy closed her eyes and cried herself into a dreamless sleep.

***

Spike watched Buffy fall asleep. He hated seeing her like this, he wanted to go hold her and kiss her tears away, tell her everything was going to be ok. Spike wanted to help her stop hurting, he turned from his broken lover and looked at Tara.

****

Spike: Why did she always keep me at a distance?

****

Tara: You know why, she did it because she didn't want things to end up the way they did

Spike looked at Tara confused.

****

Tara: She keeps everyone at a distance, because she doesn't want to lose them, she got too close to Angel and he lost his soul, she got too close to Riley and he left, she lost her mother, she almost lost her sister, and she almost lost her best friend...

Tara looked away from Spike sadness coming over her and Spike knew that Tara had known what went on with Willow. She shook it off and looked at him again.

****

Tara: and she tried not to get to close to you, but she did and you sacrificed yourself to save her and make her happy.

****

Spike: (angry with himself) Bloody Hell! it's all my fault, I kept the pattern going I made her hurt even more.

****

Tara: There's no point in blaming your self Spike, what's done is done and you may get another chance to change it

****

Spike: What can I do? How can I change it?

****

Tara: when the time comes Spike, when the time comes.

***

Dawn came home the next day, with the prophecies of Uther and a big grin on her face. She finally had someone who understood her, someone who actually liked, liked her and didn't think she was a freak.

Dawn had felt something with Conner, like a connection. She had never felt that way before... about anyone.

Everyone met at the Magic shop that day, to do some major research about the first Vampire.

****

Giles: (to Dawn) Did Wesley ask any questions about the book or tell you anything, like why calculations were done, or anything of any use to us?

****

Dawn: Not really he doesn't really know I took the book

****

Buffy: (sternly) Dawn I thought we talked about that

****

Dawn: Sorry, I thought you didn't want them asking any questions, anyway Wesley wasn't there to ask

****

Buffy: Ok, but you should have asked if we want you to get out of this klepto-phase

Willow and Giles started looking through the book and translating passages, while Buffy and Xander, did some work on the front of the shop, putting up the shelves and stuff. Dawn and Anya sat by the front counter looking through baby names books, trying to find the best names that went with Harris.

It wasn't until Giles' signature good lord, did anyone have any idea what the deal with the first vampire was, but they always knew that Good Lord wasn't good news.

****

Buffy: What's his deal Giles?

****

Giles: According to this book and the calculations, Uther was the very first vampire to walk to earth he was the one who mixed his blood with another to make more of his kind, it was said that the first slayer killed him

****

Buffy: The first slayer?

****

Giles: Yes, but the calculations make no sense and there is no way he can be brought back because, the master is gone

****

Xander: He's not really gone though, he is just bones right? He didn't really go all poofy

****

Buffy: He's right Giles, what if this Uther does rise again, can he be killed?

****

Giles: The only way for Uther to rise again is to mix blood with the master's bones and he will be reborn, but the factory that you destroyed the master's bones in is abandoned, so I suppose we have nothing to worry about

****

Buffy: Well just to make sure I think we should go get the master's bones and bury them again

****

Willow: I agree with Buffy, I really wouldn't want to come face to face with this guy

****

Xander: So we are going on a bone hunt?

***

By the old Factory, three construction workers, were getting ready to knock down the abandoned building. They were inside checking for any homeless people, when they found the skeleton

****

Worker #1: Hey guys get over here

His two companions walked over, to see scattered remains of the Master

****

Worker#2: Dude, the boss never said anyone was killed here

****

Worker#1: I know, should we clean it up?

****

Worker#3: Hell no just leave it there, so we can knock this thing over

****

Worker#1: (shrugs) Ok

Two of the workers went out to get the equipment ready, while Worker#2 who was the youngest, stayed behind, he looked at the skull, which was pretty bashed up, but the top of the mouth was still attached to the skull, he saw the fangs

****

Worker#2: Wow! look at that

He got down on his knees and touched the fangs, which were still sharp, he pricked his finger.

****

Worker#2: Damn! 

He shook his hand, and blood went all over the place splattering over the skull and the floor. He got up and went out side to his co-worker and didn't notice the bones reassembling themselves.

****

AN: OK I know another short chapter, but maybe more reviews will give me more inspiration to make them longer. Well in the next Chapter Buffy and the gang are too late and Uther had risen. PLEASE REVIEW!!

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*Here's my little thought, as a lot of you know season seven might be the last season of Buffy, hopefully it wont be. I was watching the episode of Buffy Innocence from season two and Angelus said this to Spike about Killing _Buffy: To kill this girl... you have to love her._

****

This sorta got me thinking about how Joss will end the show, another quote also made me think that my theory might have more of a chance of coming true, I saw the episode Dead Things from season six for the second time and this quote also stuck out and it was often repeated: _Buffy: You always hurt the one you love. _

****

So my theory is Joss might do something along the lines of Buffy killing Spike or Spike Killing Buffy, so I just thought I'd share that with everyone and just to get some people thinking and hey it might even spark some peoples minds to write a good Fanfic about it so, just to get you wondering, thanks for reading and Chapter thirteen will be up soon if I get reviews!!!!! See ya then!


	13. Phone calls and Difficult Choices

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AN: Here's Chapter thirteen... in this Chapter the gang finds out that Uther has risen and they need to find out away to destroy him, Conner and Dawn's relationship blossoms and Spike finally hears the choices that he has to choose from to continue his life or unlife.

Buffy, Willow, Giles and Xander headed towards the factory at dusk, taking Dawn and Anya back to the Summers' house. 

Dawn went straight for the phone while Anya turned on the TV. She reached into her pocket and took out the sheet of paper Conner had given her before she left. IT was the hotel's phone number. She dialed, grinning as it rang, Cordelia's friendly voice answered.

__

"This is Angel Investigations, We help the Helpless, but we are not in right now to help you, please tell us what your problem is after the beep, Bye"

Dawn's face fell when the answering machine picked up. She decided to leave a message.

****

Dawn: Hey, it's Dawn, I was just calling up to say Hi to everyone and ah, Conner could ya call me back later? Bye!

Before Dawn turned off the cordless phone she heard a voice on the other line. She recognized it as Conner.

****

Conner: Hello? Hello? Dawn?

Dawn's Face erupted into a smile as she put the phone back up to her ear.

****

Dawn: Conner?

****

Conner: Hey Dawn

He seemed a little out of breath.

****

Dawn: Ran to the phone huh?

****

Conner: Yes, I was upstairs looking around and I heard the phone

****

Dawn: Where is everyone else?

****

Conner: They went to help the helpless as Cordelia says it

****

Dawn: Cool

They shared an awkward silence.

****

Dawn: So are things a little better with your dad?

****

Conner: I think so, he's still a little edgy but I think it will last

****

Dawn: That's good, it's usually no fun when you are fighting with your authority figures (laughs)

****

Conner: Thanks for the advice 

****

Dawn: No problem, so what do you want to talk about?

****

Conner: I want you to tell me more about what your life is like, what it is like living in this world when your our age

****

Dawn: Ok...

They must have talked for at least an hour and a half. Conner said he had to go because Angel and the rest of the gang had walked in the door. They said their good byes and hung up. Dawn had a big smile on her face and she pulled her newest diary from under her bed and began to write.

***

Buffy opened the door of the factory and did a quick sweep of the pitch black room wit her eyes, she saw no movement and she didn't sense anything, she walked inside followed closely by her friends. Xander and Willow clicked on their flashlights.

****

Buffy: (softly) Xander, you come with me, Will go with Giles.

They nodded and went in opposite directions. They walked the factory, seeing nothing, which Buffy thought was strange because when they left this place almost six years ago they master's bones littered the floor, but there was nothing.

****

Xander: Maybe they disappeared 

****

Buffy: I doubt it... Damn I hope they weren't taken

Buffy was wrong, they weren't taken and the situation had gotten worse. Giles called the two of them over to one side of the factory. It was the bodies of the three construction workers that were supposed to tear down the factory. They all had their throats ripped out and they were drained, but they were arranged in an evil arcane way. Their bodies were arranged in a circle and in the middle of them written in blood was...

__

"Home, sweet home"

They knew no normal vampire could have done this, they all knew Uther had risen.

***

Spike looked at Tara a look of impatience on his face.

****

Spike: I can't wait any longer, I am going crazy just waiting like this.

He couldn't stand watching Buffy, He hated feeling what she was feeling the inner turmoil, he hated they way her life turned out, that she never would have time to cope with a loss because the Hellmouth would keep throwing big bad after big bad after her.

He looked at Tara, unshed tears in his sapphire eyes.

****

Spike: Please, I need you to help me, I need to make a difference... in both of our lives.

****

Tara: (nods) It's time then

***

Buffy and her friends headed back home, defeated, but prepared to do a lot of research on how to a) kill him and b) make sure he stays gone. They walked in Buffy's house to find Anya watching cartoons and Dawn no where in sight.

****

Buffy: Where's Dawn?

****

Anya: Upstairs, Xander I still don't under stand why this evil rabbit...

Buffy shook her head, a small smile on her lips as she heard Anya talking about how evil Bugs bunny is. She knocked on Dawn's door.

****

Buffy: (opens door) Dawn?

She found her sister writing in her diary. Dawn turned and looked at her sister.

****

Dawn: Hey Buffy, did you find any master bones?

Buffy came and sat down next to her sister.

****

Buffy: We were too late, we think he's back, you want to join the research party?

****

Dawn: (shrugs) ok... Buffy?

****

Buffy: (looks at her sister) 

****

Dawn: Never mind

Buffy shrugged and headed downstairs Dawn right behind her. Dawn was thinking whether or not she should tell Buffy the way she felt about Conner. Then she decided she shouldn't Buffy was going through too much at the moment to worry about her little sister's love life. They joined the scoobies in the living room.

***

Spike paced back and forth, the scenes in front of him had turned white it was just him and Tara.

****

Tara: Spike You have to understand that what ever you choose, you can't change your mind

****

Spike: (nods) ok lets get on with it then

Their surroundings changed once more and Spike and Tara were again in the alley were Spike was turned, but Drusilla was no where in sight instead he saw himself, crying running away from the laughing of the upper class. Then he saw his first love, Cicely running towards him.

****

Cicely: William! Wait please...

Spike saw himself turn and look at the beautiful woman; he quickly rubbed his eyes and straightens himself up

****

William: Yes my Lady

****

Cicely: I'm sorry William, we had no right to laugh at you... Your poetry could use a little work... (William looks away) but that doesn't matter... what matter's William is that I do like you, you have a way of growing on people

Spike watched William, who felt like he was in an awkward position, Spike also noticed the figures of Drusilla, Angelus, and Darla walking out of the alley not even giving the pair a second glance. 

****

William: Y-you like me?

****

Cicely: I've always liked you William... (They kiss)

The image faded away and Spike looked at Tara.

****

Spike: That was how it was supposed to be if I wasn't a vampire?

****

Tara: (nods) You would have lived happily with Cicely, grown old together and both of your lives would have been better for it

****

Spike: As in she wouldn't be a vengeance demon

****

Tara: Exactly, so do you want to go on?

Spike nodded anxious to see what else he had to choose from.

The surroundings changed again to Spike and Drusilla in the car leaving Sunnydale after He had helped Buffy with her Angelus problem. Nothing looked different to Spike. He looked at Tara.

****

Spike: There's nothing different it's all the same, she will leave me for a chaos demon at the next rest stop

****

Tara: yes she will... but the point is you don't go to Sunnydale you just follow Drusilla around but she finally does come back to you

Spike pondered his first two choices, he could go back and live with the first woman he had ever loved or be with his black goddess the one who had given him a actual life, Spike couldn't decide. He could actually have a life with Cicely, but it wasn't Buffy. He looked at Tara.

****

Spike: What else?

****

Tara: Another path you could take is to stay here and become a spirit guide for lost souls... like me

****

Spike: Is there any way I could be with Buffy?

Tara looked away from Spike she knew he wouldn't settle for anything but another chance with Buffy.

****

Tara: There is another way

Spike looked at Tara his sapphire eyes anxious, he needed to be with Buffy.

Their surroundings changed once again but it wasn't his Beloved Buffy he was holding in his arms.

****

AN: that's the end of Chapter thirteen, who is this woman who Spike had a chance to share his life with, What is Willow hiding from everyone? Will Dawn Tell Buffy her feelings for Conner? Will the Scooby gang stop Uther Find out next time!!!! PLEASE REVIEW!!!!

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	14. Happiness?

****

AN: Here's chapter 14, in this chapter Spike sees a life he could have had but with consequences, The scoobies find out more about the new big bad in town and we find out Willow has been keeping secrets. Keep the reviews coming here's Chapter 14

The living room of the Summers' house was practically silent except for the sounds of pages being turned, breathing and sighs of annoyance when nothing was found, Dawn and Willow were sitting on the floor, While Xander, Buffy and Anya sat on the couch. Giles paced around the room with a book in his hands saying hmm every couple of minutes. Buffy soon broke the silence making everyone jump.

****

Buffy: OK What I have so far is, first vampire, killed by first slayer, brought back by master's bones and very gross and evil

****

Xander: Same here

****

Giles: We should call up Wesley or Angel, to see why they were researching Uther and maybe we can find out how to kill him

****

Xander: I'm with the G-man on that one

Giles glared at Xander, as Buffy sighed.

****

Buffy: Ok I will call

Buffy got up and went to the cordless phone she dialed the Angel investigations number with a shaking hand, she didn't want to talk to Angel, but she knew she would have to sooner or later. A male voice answered the phone.

****

Conner: Dawn?

Buffy eyed her sister; Dawn blushed and looked away.

****

Buffy: No this is Buffy, Is Wesley around? Or your Dad?

****

Conner: Yes hold on.

Buffy heard the phone put down and a yell for Angel; Buffy closed her eyes, hoping Wesley would answer the phone. Angel answered it he was out of breath.

****

Angel: Buffy?

****

Buffy: Yeah, I was just wondering if you knew anything about the Vampire Uther

****

Angel: First Vampire, killed by first slayer

****

Buffy: We know that, but how do you kill him?

****

Angel: There are no records that I know of, that say how he was killed

****

Buffy: (to herself) Great...

****

Angel: Why are you asking me about this?

****

Buffy: We found the book at the hotel and it looked like someone had been calculating when Uther would rise and he came right on time

****

Angel: (shocked) Uther has risen and he's in Sunnydale?

****

Buffy: Yeah

****

Angel: I don't have anything helpful but maybe you should see if he can be killed like a normal vampire.

****

Buffy: That was my first idea, but we just wanted to see if he could be killed

****

Angel: He was killed once before

****

Buffy: Yeah... well thanks for your help Angel, I'll keep you posted

****

Angel: Ok Buffy, Bye

****

Buffy: Bye

(Hangs up)

****

Anya: What did he say?

****

Buffy: He pretty much knows everything we do, plus the fact that there are no records of how Uther can be killed

****

Xander: So, this means...?

****

Buffy: We patrol tonight

****

Xander: Ok I'll take Anya home and we can meet you at the graveyard where Spike's crypt is at

Right after Xander said that he knew it was the best this to say when Buffy looked away quickly, before Xander could apologize Buffy looked back at them and nodded.

****

Buffy: We'll meet there, that's fine

****

Dawn: You want me to come with you?

****

Buffy: Not this time Dawn, you know the drill, you can only help after we figure out how to kill it, anyways I think your boyfriend id expecting a call

Dawn went a deep red and ran up the stair grabbing the phone from its cradle.

****

Buffy: (yelling after her) Don't run up the phone bill!

Xander laughed as they started out the door, Willow didn't follow.

****

Buffy: You coming Will?

****

Willow: (shakes head) I'm just going to stay here

****

Buffy: OK, we should be back soon

Willow nodded and closed the door behind them.

***

Spike gasped at the women he was holding in his arms, she had every feature of Buffy, her face, her arms, her body, she was Buffy but Spike knew better, he knew it wasn't Buffy.

****

Spike: Who is that?

****

Tara: That's Elizabeth, she's the part of Buffy that isn't the slayer, the part of her that wasn't hiding her love from you and everyone else

****

Spike: I could be with her?

Tara nodded and Spike looked at the scene once again it had changed to Spike standing behind a rocking chair Elizabeth was sitting in she was holding their daughter. Spike let the tears roll down his face as he watched the scene, he could be with the woman he loved, he could have a family with her, she would love him. it was everything Spike had ever dreamed of, but something was missing.

He tore his tear soaked eyes from Elizabeth and their newborn daughter, Spike looked at Tara.

****

Spike: If I take this life, the one with Elizabeth, will I remember Buffy, the slayer will I remember anything?

****

Tara: No Spike you wont, you will live happily with Elizabeth, as a human, you will grow old together, you would see your daughter graduate and get married, you would have grandchildren...

****

Spike: (cuts her off) but there would always be something missing

Tara looked at Spike confused, then nodded.

****

Tara: There is one more way, you would go back to Sunnydale as a human but you will remember nothing, not even your name

****

Spike: Would I be with Buffy?

****

Tara: (shrugs) You might, you might not

Spike looked back at the scene with Elizabeth and thought:

__

"Everything I've wanted"

****

Tara: I will give you some time

Tara disappeared and left Spike torn between a life he wanted, or the woman he loved.

***

Willow went out on to the back porch of the house and sat down, she smiled and put her head on the figure sitting next to her.

****

Willow: How are you doing Tara?

****

AN: I know it's a short Chapter but maybe if I got some more reviews I would make the chapters longer *grins* well Chapter 15 should be a little longer, I hope so keep reviewing and I'll see ya next time on Grief.

__


	15. Loss of Judgement

****

AN: Here's Chapter 15 of Grief, In this Chapter Tara tells Willow about Spike and Buffy has her first encounter with the first Vampire Uther, Spike also makes a choice.

Buffy walked around the graveyard with Xander and Giles, they hadn't seen Uther anywhere and the thing was they had no idea what he looked like. 

****

Buffy: How come they never come out when you're looking for them but they do when you least suspect them?

****

Giles: That is a mystery we will never solve, now keep your eyes peeled.

****

Buffy: I think we should have went and searched the factory again

****

Xander: We didn't see anything earlier

****

Buffy: He might have been hiding

****

Xander: I don't think Uther is a hiding type of guy

****

Buffy: Why do you say that?

****

Xander: (points) Cause I think he's right there

****

Buffy: See I told you

Buffy turned to her left where a vampire with long black hair and deep dark eyes, he had the Dracula look going on. Buffy raised her crossbow.

****

Uther: I do not wish to fight you little girl

He had a heavy English accent. Buffy narrowed her eyes at the vampire.

****

Buffy: Well you better change your wish then buddy, cause I came here to fight

****

Uther: (pauses and cocks head) You are troubled slayer... lost someone I suppose?

Buffy looked at Giles a confused expression on her face, he shrugged.

****

Buffy: What does that have to do with anything?

****

Uther: Everything... your feelings will ruin your judgment

****

Buffy: Did we come here for a conversation or to fight?

****

Uther: You can not fight me slayer, you can not kill me... I am eternal

****

Buffy: (sighs) Where have I heard that before? 

Then Buffy suddenly shot the crossbow, it hit Uther in the chest, he didn't explode into dust. Buffy, Giles and Xander looked at the vampire amazed.

****

Uther: As I said I am eternal

Then the vampire disappeared. Buffy turned and looked at her watcher and best friend.

****

Buffy: I think that proves he isn't a normal Vampire

****

Xander: I thought we already proved that?

Buffy shrugged and they headed back home defeated, but with more information. The vampire's words had stunned Buffy, she had lost someone... Spike. She shook thoughts of him away, there were more important things to think about.

***

Willow smiled at Tara, who shyly smiled back, they sat in silence looking up at the stars like they did almost every night.

****

Tara: If I tell you something will you promise not to tell anyone?

****

Willow: Yes of course

****

Tara: You know how I guide lost souls?

****

Willow: (nods)

****

Tara: Well my newest charge is a friend

****

Willow: (looks confused, then remembers) Spike?

****

Tara: (nods)

Willow gasped and looked at her deceased lover.

****

Tara: He has done so much good that he is able to make a choice, of what he wants to do with his life and I'm the one who needs to help him choose

****

Willow: What do you think he will do?

****

Tara: He wants to be with Buffy

****

Willow: I know that... is there anyway he can?

****

Tara: (nods) But it comes with consequences

****

Willow: Doesn't everything?

Tara gave Willow a small reassuring smile.

****

Tara: Your better now Will, don't let the past stop you from being who you are

****

Willow: I won't... cause I still have you

****

Tara: I will always be with you, remember that

****

Willow: always

The two lovers once again sat in silence looking up at the stars.

***

Spike paced around the White room as he mentally called it, The images of the lives he could have, were still being shown to him, his eyes always lingered on the image of him and Elizabeth, he would know the part of Buffy that loved him but something was nagging him at the back of his mind, if he chose that life would he be happy?

***

Tara left Willow alone on the step when they heard voices coming to the front of the house, Willow always hated saying goodbye, but at least she had a chance to, she smiled at that thought and went in the house to see what her friends had found out about Uther. Willow walked in the room as Buffy sat on the couch sighing, she looked at Willow.

****

Buffy: He can't be staked and his fashion sense sucks

Willow could still feel the hurt coming off in waves from Buffy, but she still tried to hide it, Willow respected her for this and wished Tara didn't tell her about Spike cause That's all Willow wanted to tell Buffy at that moment but she kept her promise to Tara.

****

Buffy: Giles, Do you know anyway to kill a eternal vampire? I mean if the first slayer could do it I'm sure I can

****

Giles: I'm not totally sure of the details, but I suppose we could capture him in some way like the Demon Moloch... the one that was released onto the internet

****

Willow: Trap him in a book?

****

Giles: It's a good chance, I think his essence was actually trapped in the Master's bones, and he was simply released

****

Buffy: And how are we going to do this?

****

Giles: I can research on how to bind or trap the undead and I guess you can go looking for him and trying different methods to see what harms him the most

****

Buffy: So next patrol I should bring holy water, and matches oooo fun

Giles rolled his eyes at Buffy and picked up the book Dawn had brought home with her from LA.

***

Dawn was laying on her bed phone in hand, pen in the other writing in her diary, she was talking to Conner, who was telling her about the demon that crashed into the hotel that day, he said things got hectic and Cordelia kept yelling something about a mortgage and Conner along with his father which he was proud to say slayed the beast.

Dawn was too busy laughing, she didn't notice her sister standing in the doorway smirking.

****

Dawn: (in phone) Well it's getting late and I think Buffy just got home I will call you tomorrow

****

Conner: Ok, good bye Dawn

****

Dawn: Bye

Dawn turned off the cordless phone and turned around, she jumped when she saw her sister leaning on the doorframe.

****

Buffy: So, you have a thing for Angel's kid huh?

****

Dawn: I guess... yeah

****

Buffy: (sits down next to Dawn) He seems like a great guy, so... good for you

No one could have missed the sadness in Buffy's voice, Dawn looked down at her feet.

****

Dawn: You know I understand if you don't want me calling him any more

****

Buffy: (shrugs) Doesn't matter to me anyways I know you would call him anyways when I was at work or on patrol

****

Dawn: That's true... well what have you found out about the vampire guy?

****

Buffy: Well he's immune to stake through the heart and I'm going to try Fire and holy water tomorrow night

****

Dawn: Does Giles have any ideas on how to stop him?

****

Buffy: Try to bind or trap him, it a book or something

****

Dawn: Cool

The two sisters then made there way down stairs to find that Xander had left to go be with Anya, he seemed a little over protective of her and the rest of the scoobies could understand this. 

***

Spike was still pacing when Tara came back, he had no idea what he was going to do, if he went to Buffy he would lose everything, but if he went with Elizabeth he would always have a part of Buffy but he knew in his heart that she wasn't Buffy. He already knew he didn't want to be with Cicely or Drusilla he had been there and done that and he knew it would never work no matter the powers that be did to change anything.

****

Tara: So have you chose yet?

****

Spike: I'm down to two choices, Buffy and Elizabeth

****

Tara: You have to chose Spike

****

Spike: (eyes pleading) Please love... tell me there is a way I can be with Buffy with out losing her all together

****

Tara: Elizabeth is the only way Spike

****

Spike: (shakes head sadly) She's not Buffy

***

The next day Buffy headed to the graveyard to patrol and look for Uther's weaknesses. She sat on a headstone, waiting for any sign of unlife, so far there was nothing, till Buffy heard a voice behind her.

****

Uther: Your alone... fantastic

****

Buffy: (turns around) Well, well isn't it the guy I was looking for

****

Uther: None of your weapons will harm me, I am eternal

****

Buffy: (sighs) Geez I know stop drilling into my head already

****

Uther: You still are troubled Slayer, do you wish to share?

****

Buffy: ah... no

Uther came closer to Buffy, he circled her looking her over.

****

Uther: You have been bitten by my kind

****

Buffy: (crosses arms) So?

Uther didn't respond he just kept circling her, Buffy sighed and finally gave the vampire a roundhouse kick to the head, he stumbled surprised by her sudden attack. 

****

Buffy: (in a fighting stance) Come on, you ready to fight?

Then Uther did something that made Buffy's heart skip a beat, she dropped her fists and looked at the man in front of her.

****

Buffy: Spike?

The white haired Vampire looked at Buffy and came towards her, wrapping his arms around her.

****

"Spike": Slayer

Buffy welcomed his touch happy to see him tears rolled down her face. 

He then kneed her in the stomach, Buffy fell to her knees she fell to the ground holding her stomach, she looked into the eyes of her former lover, they were dark, dead, empty.

****

"Spike": Your feelings for this man cloud your judgment Slayer

Spike then changed back into Uther, he smiled down at Buffy, his eyes dark and empty, Buffy looked away from him, tears running down her face. When she looked back he was gone.

***

Spike looked at Tara his eyes pleading for a chance, some way to be with the only woman he knew he could spend the rest of his days with.

****

Tara: Spike, I don't know what to say to you, I can change anything, I'm just a guide, I show and... guide, I don't know what to tell you

****

Spike: Can you talk to them? Ask them?

****

Tara: (shakes head sadly) I'm sorry Spike, I am and I wish I could help you

****

Spike: I want to be with Buffy

Tara looked at Spike and she knew he had made his choice.

****

Tara: Are you sure?

Spike nodded and looked back at the image of Elizabeth and their daughter

****

Spike: That's everything I've ever wanted but if it's not with Buffy, the whole Buffy, the slayer and girl it's not the same

Tara nodded smiling at her vampire friend.

****

Tara: I hope you find your way to her Spike. 

As Tara let Spike go back to Sunnydale she couldn't help but mutter a spell under her breath, she just hoped she was just as stroung as a witch here as she was when she was alive.

Everything went dark and Spike fell to the ground of Sunnydale California, he didn't know who he was and he didn't know where he was, this frightened the man who remembered nothing, he stood up and turned right into...

****

AN: oooooo Who did Spike run into? How will this person react to his reappearance? Will he remember anything? Find out next time... PLEASE REVIEW!!! Remember reviews help me type and post a lot faster soooooooooo Review!!!! I know it seems Uther is a Dracula like Vampire but he's not really gonna last much longer for a little spoiler for the rest of the story.


	16. Face to Face

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AN: OK First things, first is anyone afraid of flashlights? if so please hit yourself on the head, spin around in circles and seek mental help...

Sorry for the brief moment of insanity due to a two hour long phone call with my best friend here's chapter sixteen...

The floppy eared demon smiled as he saw his old friend.

****

Clem: Sorry, Spike... I didn't see you there

He looked at Clem strangely, he had no idea who the demon was but he felt no dangerous vibes from him.

****

Spike: Who are you?

Clem looked a little taken back, he looked at Spike, his eyes worried.

****

Clem: It's me Clem, your kitten poker buddy, remember?

Spike shook his head confused.

****

Spike: Kitten poker?

****

Clem: Never mind that, your Spike, a vampire you live at the cemetery right down the street and you love Buffy

****

Spike: (eyes widen) Vampire?

That's when Clem noticed Spike's chest rising and falling

****

Clem: Ok scratch that you're human

****

Spike: Who's Buffy?

****

Clem: The person I am taking you too right now... Come on

***

Willow was in her room studying when Tara appeared before her, Willow jumped but then smiled at the spirit.

****

Willow: Tara, you scared me

****

Tara: (smiles) Sorry, I just came to tell you that he's here and he doesn't know anything and just help him find happiness with Buffy please

****

Willow: He made his choice? Wow he risked everything just to be with Buffy

****

Tara: Yeah, just make sure he can find his place with Buffy, I don't know where he is right now but... (trails off)

****

Willow: Don't worry Tara, I'll make sure everything turns out ok

Tara smiled and disappeared.

***

Buffy walked back home, tears still rolling down her face, she knew it was the vampire, but just the sight of Spike made her forget everything, god how she missed him, she wiped her tears away not noticing the floppy eared demon and the white haired ex-vampire across the street.

****

Buffy: (to herself) God I just wish he would come back to me.

Then she heard someone calling her name from the other side of the street.

****

Clem: Buffy! Hey Buffy!

Buffy turned to the floppy eared demon, he was walking next to... Spike. Buffy's heart must have stopped for a second when she saw her lover.

****

Buffy: Oh god Spike

She wrapped her arms around the man she wouldn't allow herself to admit her love, he didn't return her hug and Buffy noticed a weird feeling she had never felt with Spike before... warmth.

****

Spike: Are you Buffy?

Buffy looked at Spike tears running down her face, she didn't understand, why didn't he know her. She looked to Clem for answers, he shook his head.

****

Clem: He didn't know anything when I found him, are you going to take him home with you?

Buffy nodded and looked back at the man who didn't know her.

****

Buffy: Your going to come home with me, I live with Willow, Dawn and Giles, do you remember them?

Spike shook his head, and looked into Buffy's eyes they were so warm, kind and full of love, Spike fell in love with her right that second.

They said their goodbyes to Clem and started towards Buffy's house.

***

Xander watched Anya as she flipped through channels on the TV, he had all of these feelings he couldn't describe, he was going to be a father. Something he hadn't really thought about but he was happy he was with Anya.

****

Anya: (turns off TV) What?

****

Xander: Huh?

****

Anya: You were staring at me, now explain yourself

****

Xander: Oh sorry, just admiring how beautiful you are

Anya smiled and laid her head on his shoulder.

****

Anya: Oh Xander...

****

Xander: I have something to ask you Anya and you don't have to answer me now...

****

Anya: (looks at him suspiciously) What is it Xander?

Xander smiled and hoped he wouldn't get slapped in the face again. He got down on one knee and looked up at her, engagement ring in hand. Anya gasped then smacked him. Xander looked at her smile gone from his face, he held the ring out to her.

****

Xander: I know I'm ready this time and I promised you, so Anya will you marry me?

Anya looked at him and he noticed tears in her eyes, Xander looked at her, his eyes pleading.

****

Anya: I will marry you Xander Harris and if I have to put a leash on you I will.

Xander grinned and embraced the woman he loved.

***

Willow waited outside for Buffy to come home, she was going to tell her about Spike then they both could go out and look for him, Willow wasn't expecting Buffy to find him first. She gasped when she saw Buffy walk up to the house, Spike by her side, her face was tear-stained.

****

Buffy: (to Spike when she sees Willow) That's Willow

Spike nodded and Buffy looked up to see her shocked friend.

****

Buffy: (to Willow) Clem found him... He doesn't remember anything

Willow looked at her friend sympathetically and the three of them walked into the house.

****

Giles: (looking at Book) Good Buffy your back did you... (looks up and drops book) Good lord

****

Spike: Your Giles right? (looks at Buffy who nods)

Giles looked at his sadden slayer who just shrugged. Giles gestured to Buffy to go in the other room while Willow and Spike sat in the living amongst some of Giles' books.

****

Giles: (in Kitchen with Buffy) What happened Buffy? You said he killed himself

****

Buffy: He did... I don't know what happened, Clem said he just found him and he 

didn't remember anything... his name, where he was... me.

****

Giles: Buffy, there must be some explanation for this, I have no idea how a vampire could be resurrected

****

Buffy: (looks at Giles her eyes wide) That's the thing Giles, he not a Vampire.

****

AN: Sorry for the shortness, the next chapter should be longer hopefully, then next Chapter Buffy meets up with Uther once again Spike at her side.

PLEASE REVIEW!!!!

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	17. Rinsing away the pain

****

AN: Here's Chapter seventeen

Buffy had called Xander and Anya over after she had talked to Giles; she didn't say anything to Dawn about Spike... yet. They sat around the living room in an awkward silence. 

****

Xander: He still looks like Spike

****

Buffy: That's because he is, (looks at Spike) What do you remember?

****

Spike: (thinks for a second) I remember waking up on the sidewalk and running into the man with the big ears

****

Giles: nothing before that?

Spike shook his head and looked at Buffy, she was so beautiful.

****

Anya: I don't understand, you said he staked himself

****

Willow: He did, but now he's back so everything is better

****

Buffy: No it isn't Will, he's not Spike, not the Spike we all knew

****

Xander: And this is a bad thing?

Buffy glared at Xander and he backed off, she looked at Spike.

****

Buffy: You can stay here tonight and we will fill you in on everything maybe it will spark some memories or something, (looks at the others) I'm going to go tell Dawn before she finds out herself.

Buffy left the living room and headed up the stairs, Spike could tell that she had a connection with him then he remembered what the man with the big ears had said:

__

"You love Buffy"

Spike closed his eyes reaching into his mind trying to remember anything that might make this awkward situation better, but he came up with nothing.

Willow: (To Giles) Could you do a memory retrieving spell or something?

Giles looked at the redheaded ex-witch and shook his head.

Giles: It could be done but I need to work on a way to trap Uther that has to be our number one priority now

Willow nodded, she looked at Spike and wished she could tell everyone why he was like this, she headed to the backyard, she needed to talk to Tara.

***

Buffy knocked on Dawn's door before she walked in, the teen was writing in her diary; she looked up at her sister.

****

Dawn: Hey Buffy how did Patrol go?

****

Buffy: (shrugs) Dawn, I'm going to tell you something that you might not be able to believe at first

Dawn looked at her sister impatiently

****

Buffy: Spike is back Dawn, but he doesn't remember anything at all

Dawn's mouth dropped opened, she knew it wasn't a joke Buffy wouldn't have joked around about Spike expressly after what he had done to himself in front of her in LA.

****

Dawn: I-Is he here?

Buffy nodded and Dawn could already see the tears forming in her eyes.

****

Buffy: He's downstairs, I guess you can go say Hi to him

Dawn nodded and started towards the stairs, Buffy soundlessly went in her room and shut the door. Dawn didn't know what to expect as she descended down the stairs to see the one guy in her life that didn't treat her like a kid when it mattered.

***

Tara appeared before Willow as she shut the back door.

****

Tara: I could hear you call is everything ok?

****

Willow: Sort of, Spike is here right now

A smile broke out on Tara's face, happy that he had found his way to Buffy.

****

Tara: That's great

****

Willow: Not really Tara, he doesn't remember anything and I think him being here has upset Buffy, I think she wants the old Spike back 

****

Tara: He is the old Spike, just give him some time

Willow looked at Tara she had a feeling she wasn't telling her everything.

Willow: Tara, you told me everything right, about what would happen if he came back

****

Tara: Willow, Before I sent him here I did a spell, so that his memories would gradually come back, I'm not sure it will work or not, that's why I didn't tell you... at first, just tell Buffy to give him some time, you never know Spike night even have some surprises of his own.

Tara smiled and left Willow alone; Willow retreated back into the Summers' home.

***

Dawn shyly made her way into the living room, she saw the white haired Vampire, he was sitting his back to her, Xander was the first one to see her walk in the room.

****

Xander: Hey Dawnie, want to come sit with us?

With Xander's words, Spike turned and looked at the young girl, he felt no sparks, nothing jolted his memory, he could tell the girl was afraid to approach him.

****

Spike: It's ok, Dawnie you can come in I won't bite

Dawn felt a chill go down her spine Spike never called her Dawnie, she entered the room and sat next to Anya.

Once again they sat in a awkward silence as Willow walked in the room asking where Buffy was.

***

Buffy sat on her bed, her thoughts running madly around in her head:

__

Spike was back... Spike was back... Spike was back

She didn't know whether to leap for joy or smack him for staking himself, but she knew she couldn't do that now, he was just an empty hollow shell believing whatever we tell him. Buffy sighed and laid back staring at the ceiling, still thinking.

__

How could he have come back?

Buffy mind had tumbled over the fact that maybe Spike was brought back for the same reason Angel was, but that didn't explain why he was human.

So many questions she didn't have answers to, so many reasons of why he was brought back.

__

Will he love me the way he did before?

This question had come out of no where but Buffy had to think, she did love him but would he ever find a way to love her back?

**__**

She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye.

She would suffer she would fight and compromise.

She's been wishing on stars that shine so bright.

For answers to questions that will haunt her tonight

Buffy sighed again, and she wondered if she could love Spike the way he was now, if he would ever become the man he once was.

**__**

She must rinse this all away.

She can't hold him this way.

She must rinse this all away.

She can't love him this way.

She tried to picture his eyes the way they were before, so full of love and life... now they were confused and scared.

Buffy wondered if his sudden amnesia would be temporary like Angel's beast-like ways when he was brought back, that suddenly made Buffy wonder whether or not Spike was in a hell dimension being tortured because he loved her.

**__**

How she'd be soothed how she could be saved if he could see.

She needs to be held in his arms to be free.

But everything happens for reasons that she will never understand.

'Till she knows that the heart of a woman will never be found in the arms of a man.

The more Buffy wondered the heavier her heart became, and she began to think if she could ever love Spike in the condition he was in. 

**__**

She must rinse this all away.

She can't hold anybody this way.

She must rinse this all away.

She can't love him

Buffy put her hands over her face just wanted to rid herself of these feelings these thoughts, these questions. There was a evil bad guy vampire prowling around the streets of Sunnydale and she had to stop it and she knew if she continued to just sit around and mope and wonder about her life, that she wasn't doing her duty and people were in danger.

__

That's one thing about a slayer I'll never get used to... the loneliness

Buffy shook the thought away knowing that she wasn't alone and to prove her point Willow knocked on her door and walked in Buffy's room.

**_And as she runs away she fears she won't be followed._**

What could be worse then leaving something behind?

And as the depth of ocean slowly becomes shallow,

It's loneliness she finds.

If only he was mine.

Buffy smiled at her best friend, Willow sat down next to Buffy on her bed.

****

Willow: How are you doing Buffy?

****

Buffy: Good, I guess

****

Willow: So are you up here alone because it's weird around Spike or do you not want to socialize?

Buffy looked at Willow, knowing she couldn't hide anything from her friend.

****

Buffy: (sighs) It's Spike

****

Willow: I sorta guessed that already

****

Buffy: Thought so

****

Willow: You know it might not last forever you know, he might start remembering things

****

Buffy: I know but just seeing him like that, he's not the same person, not saying he was ever a person to begin with...

****

Willow: you know that's not true Buffy, I mean the only reason he could have been changed back to a human is that he deserved it, he proved himself worthy for redemption.

Buffy looked at the floor not responding to Willow's truthful words.

**__**

She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye.

She would suffer she would fight and compromise.

She's been wishing on the stars that shine so bright.

For answers to questions that will haunt her tonight.

Buffy nodded and looked at Willow tears in her eyes, Willow put an arm around her friend.

****

Willow: It's going to be ok Buffy, believe me

****

Buffy: I just don't know if he still loves me... or if he ever remembers loving me

****

Willow: I don't think you can forget loving someone

****

Buffy: Well it seems Spike did.

****

Willow: Maybe he is in a state of shock from becoming human, or maybe he hit his head, there are so many possibilities

****

Buffy: I know and he will never be the same

****

Willow: You don't know that

****

Buffy: Believe me Will I do

**__**

She must rinse him

She must rinse him

She can't rinse him

She can rinse him

She can't, she won't, she must rinse him

She can't, she wont, she must rinse him

Willow looked at her friend sadly, not knowing what to say. Buffy finally let the tears that she thought she got rid of in LA roll down her face.

**** __

She must rinse this all away.

She can't hold him this way.

She must rinse this all away.

She can't love him this way.

Willow took her friend in her arms as she began to cry.

****

Buffy: I can't love him this way, Willow... I just can't

****

AN: That's chapter seventeen, the next one should be coming soon and in case you are wondering the song I used is Vanessa Carlton's song Rinse, I don't own it so don't sue me PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!

**__**


	18. William come forth

****

AN: Sorry for the long wait let's just say WRITER'S BLOCK! This chapter is just a chapter to try to move things along, I just want to say how sorry I know the story is getting a little slow but I am trying to move things along, I just started school so updates will still be a little slow so bear with me PLEASE REVIEW!!!

Buffy cried in Willow's arms for what seemed like forever, she finally looked up at her friend.  
  
**Buffy:** I will give him a chance Willow, but I'm not promising that I will ever love him like I did when I did before  
  
**Willow:** (smiles) That's what I wanted to hear so do you want to go talk to him now or wait till tomorrow?  
**Buffy:** Tomorrow  
  
Willow nodded and the two friends headed downstairs.  
  
**Dawn:** So Spike, you don't remember anything?  
**Spike:** (shakes head)  
**Dawn:** That must really suck  
**Spike: **Tell me about it nibblet  
  
Dawn's face suddenly brightened,   
  
**Dawn:** You are starting to remember stuff!  
  
Spike looked at the teen confused as did Giles, Xander and Anya.  
  
**Anya:** How can you tell?  
**Dawn:** He called me Nibblet and he is the only one who ever called me that  
**Xander:** This is good right?  
  
**Buffy:** (walks in room Willow behind her) What's good?  
**Giles: **It seems Spike is beginning to regain his memory  
  
Buffy tried to hide a look of surprise and happiness on her face, Spike turned and looked at her smiling soon he would remember what he had with her and they would be able to continue it.  
  
**Buffy:** That's great... why doesn't everyone stay here tonight so we can get a good start on telling Spike what we know, you know to see if anything sparks his memory  
  
Everyone nodded and headed to bed except for Giles, who stayed downstairs with his books trying to figure out a way to stop Uther, who was being surprisingly quiet, not feeding just waiting and watching for the moment he would kill the slayer.  
  
Xander and Anya took Willow's room while Willow slept in Dawn's room, Dawn slept on a cot next to Buffy's Bed, Spike slept downstairs on the couch as Giles kept an eye on him and researched.  
  
***  
  
That night Spike dreamed about things from his forgotten past

__

A woman in Victorian clothing, a shy man running from laughing men, crying and the weight of rejection in his chest as he ran in a alley, being stopped by a raven haired woman.

Spike gasped and sat up quickly, looking around at his surroundings. It was daylight outside and there were books on the table next to him. A man had a book open on his lap and his head against the wall and was sleeping. 

He didn't remember anything

***

Buffy was dreamed but her dreams turned into nightmares

__

"I'm gonna make you feel it"

"No stop!"

She tossed and turned, moaning, talking in her sleep.

__

"I love you Buffy always remember that"

"I just want to make you happy"

Buffy to sat up in her bed and said 

" NO SPIKE!"

She awoke Dawn who was laying on the cot next to her.

****

Dawn: (sleepily) You ok Buffy?

Buffy put her face in her hands and nodded, Dawn laid back down but couldn't get back to sleep

****

Dawn: I'm sure he will remember stuff Buffy, Don't get so stressed over it

****

Buffy: I'm not stressed Dawn, I'm just a little out of it

****

Dawn: It will get better I promise, and Buffy I can tell you right now he still does love you, the way he looks at you, he knows that something deep down inside of him loves you, but he's just not able to find it.

Buffy looked at her sister and smiled, she had a lot of wisdom in her for a sixteen-year-old. The monks must have put a little of mom in her too thought Buffy.

****

Buffy: Thanks Dawn

****

Dawn: (smiles) No problem, lets go see if any one else is awake.

Buffy shook her head after she glanced at her alarm clock.

Buffy: It's only eight, lets give everyone a little more shuteye

Dawn nodded and yawned. She laid back down, Buffy did the same but she didn't fall back asleep, the memories that she dreamed of, the words that were said, were still ringing in her ears. Tears rolled down her face and she hope she would be able to keep her word about giving Spike another chance.

***

Xander stared at the ceiling of Willow's room. Anya was snoring softly next to him, smiling in her sleep possibly dreaming about all of the men she tortured. Xander smiled then heard a shout from Buffy's room.

"NO SPIKE"

Xander leaped out of the bed and started towards the door, he heard soft talking coming from the room now, Buffy was dreaming. Xander clenched his fists. Spike might have forgotten about all the stuff he did to Buffy but Xander never would and He vowed to make Spike pay one day, when he was back to his old self.

He was acting nice to Spike for Buffy and Dawn's benefit, he didn't want them to get upset that he still wanted to hurt Spike... Badly.

****

Anya: Xander?

Xander turned to the sound of his lover's voice.

****

Xander: You ok Ahn?

****

Anya: (nods) Your not, I can tell

Xander sat on the bed and sighed.

****

Xander: It's the whole deal with Spike

****

Anya: Don't fret over him Xander, we have other things to worry about

****

Xander: I know

Xander looked at her and smiled.

***

****

Dawn: Buffy? Can we please go downstairs I can't sleep

****

Buffy: Me neither, let's go

They both charged in the hallway almost knocking into Xander, Anya and Willow who were also heading downstairs.

****

Xander: Good morning ladies

They all smiled at him and headed to the living room were they found Giles Sleeping but no sign of Spike. Buffy felt a rise of panic

****

Buffy: Giles? Where is Spike?

Giles opened his eyes and sleepily glanced at his young friends.

****

Giles: What?

****

Buffy: Where is Spike?

****

Giles: Oh I'm sorry... I must have dozed off

Buffy sighed and walked into the kitchen to find Spike huddled in a corner trembling.

****

Buffy: Spike?

Spike looked up at Buffy, he had tears running down his face.

****

Spike: Leave me alone

A wave of sadness hit Buffy, she walked closer to him.

****

Buffy: It's ok Spike, It's me Buffy.

She wasn't sure if he was in a state of shock or not.

****

Spike: I shouldn't have sneaked out and defied mother... but I had to see her

****

Buffy: (confused) See who?

****

Spike: The woman I love why does it matter?

****

Buffy: Your just confused right now, the whole memory loss thing, you will be back to normal soon Spike

****

Spike: Who is this Spike you keep referring me too, my name is William and I have never lost my memory

Buffy looked at Spike shocked, he thought he was still in England... before he was turned.

****

Buffy: H-he's no one, do you know who I am?

****

William: I do not madam but I would like to be left alone... I need to figure out how to explain everything to mother

****

Buffy: I am the woman you love right?

William looked at Buffy strangely, then he shook his head. Buffy's heart broke apart, not understanding Spike's sudden change.

****

William: I love Cecily

****

AN: I love cliffhangers, well writing them at least, you always get very interesting reviews *Hint Hint* well the next chapter should be up soon since I haven't been bombarded with homework yet, PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!


	19. Reliving the past

****

AN: Hey everyone!!! I'm loving the reviews I HAVE 42! I've never gotten that many before so thanks to everyone who has reviewed. I am warning all of you readers now, School just started for me as it did for a lot of you and I might be getting a little busy I will try to update whenever I can but you have to be patient till I have a lot of time to sit down and finish this which is I don't know when, I really like the way this story is unfolding and there are going to be a lot of surprises up ahead so KEEP READING AND REVIEWING!!!!!!

Buffy took a step back like she had been slapped.

****

William: Are you ok? You seem upset

****

Buffy: (Shakes Head) This isn't happening

****

William: What isn't happening?

****

Buffy: This... This whole thing with you, first you stake yourself, then you come back as a human with no memory of anything, making googely eyes at me, now you wake up and you are how you were like hundred years ago!

Buffy took a deep breath after she had let out everything staring at the man she had once never thought of as a man, and realized he was looking at her with googely eyes.

****

Buffy: (sharp, annoyed tone) What?

****

William: N-nothing

Buffy sighed and turned from the kitchen leaving the shocked confused man behind her, Buffy was frustrated, why did everything have to get all confusing right when everything was supposed to work out, she was going to admit her feelings for Spike but he had to go be Mr. Dramatic and stake himself and now he said he didn't love her.

She turned and looked back at him before she entered the living room, he was staring after her, his blue eyes glazed with tears, he had the face of a man who had been rejected... many times, but Buffy saw something behind that...she saw the Spike she knew, like he was trapped inside the shell of William just screaming to come out, it was then that Buffy understood Spike and why he acted the way he did.

****

Buffy: William?

****

William: Yes, miss?

****

Buffy: Come join me and my friends... we can help you

William smiled and nodded and walked into the living room joining the rest of the Scooby gang.

***

He waited in the shadows, waiting for a vulnerable moment when he could strike, a moment when he could kill the slayer.

***

****

Xander: So your William, a poet?

****

William: Yes, yes I am

Xander hid a laugh behind a cough getting glares from all four Women in the room.

****

Giles: (cleaning glasses) What year is it William?

****

William: 1880

****

Giles: I'm afraid not, it is year 2002, you are, well were a Vampire, A vampire named Drusilla sired you

****

William: Vampire? That's bolderdash

****

Buffy: no it's not, you were a Vampire, a vampire who loved me

****

William: How come I don't recall any of this?

****

Giles: My only guess is that you are reliving your memories, what is the last thing you remember

****

William: (slight tremor in voice) I was leaving a party, when a dark-haired woman stopped me, then I think I fainted

****

Giles: That woman was Drusilla, If my theory is correct you are going to be reliving the memories of your first years being a vampire

****

Willow: (To Giles) So he will act like he did when he was a vampire? Cause I really wouldn't want to meet a young Vampire Spike, who still has the cappablilty to bite

****

William: Bite?

****

Buffy: Never mind that, I'll go get some rope

William: (eyes widen) Rope?

Buffy left the group with a very confused William in silence.

Everyone didn't say anything when Buffy left, they just sat uncomfortable with someone they hardly knew in the room.

William Closed his eyes trying to bring his thoughts together, but he got more then he bargained for.

A sharp pain in his neck, feeling the life being drained from him and falling to the ground.

William's eyes snapped opened and his eyes fell on the young girl in front of him, her creamy neck exposed, He leaped towards her, she shrieked as he sunk his teeth into her, then he felt a searing pain in his head

He screamed clutching his head, Xander and Giles grabbed him and held him down while Anya and Willow tried to comfort a shocked Dawn.

Buffy ran into the room, rope in hand she threw it to Xander, who started tying the man who thought he was a vampire to a chair. She went to her sister, there were human bite marks in her neck, they were bleeding slightly.

****

Buffy: Oh god Dawn are you ok?

****

Dawn: Y-yeah Buffy, I'm ok, it just stings a little

****

Anya: The chip still works

****

Buffy: What?

****

Anya: The chip in his head, it gave him a big head ache

****

Buffy: Why would the chip still be in his head if he is human?

No one could answer her question.

***

The nightfall, William who was now calling himself Spike was glaring at Buffy, the look to kill in his eyes.

Dawn didn't go any where near him, she didn't want to have anything to do with him till he was Spike again, the Spike she loved and wanted back.

Giles had finally found a spell that could be used on the Vampire Uther, but she would need back up and of Course Xander volunteered.

****

Xander: I will back you up Buffy

****

Buffy &Anya: No

****

Xander: Why not Buff, I've been back up a hundred times before

****

Buffy: You need to stay with Anya, I can't risk losing you of all people cause then I'd have a ex-vengence demon at my neck, for getting her... ah... what exactly are you guys now?

****

Anya: Engaged, he proposed a couple of days ago

****

Buffy: (small smile) Congrats, but the answer is still no Xander

****

Dawn: I could go

****

Buffy: Dawn, not this time, I told you this guy is unpredictable

****

Giles: I'm going with Buffy, she needs someone who can perform Magic, to do the spell

Willow looked at her feet as Giles said this, he gently placed a hand on her shoulder.

****

Giles: (softly) One day Willow, you will be able to control your power, but for now you have to leave the magic to me

She nodded not looking up and the slayer and her watcher headed out the door.

****

Buffy: Dawn, Xander if you want something to do... guard Spike

****

Xander: (looks at Spike) oo fun

****

AN: Sorry about the shortness I have been working my butt off trying to type this chapter up but I haven't had the time, but it's finish now and I hope you enjoyed it PLEASE REVIEW!!!!


	20. Checkers

****

AN: Well here is Chapter Twenty!!! Loads of action and adventure!! Thank you too all those who have reviewed and I hope everyone is enjoying the fic I know it has been going a little downhill but it should be picking up soon with some wonderful Buffy and Spike fluffiness and I will be having more Dawn and Conner fluff in there as well.

Anya, Dawn and Willow tried there best to keep there attention on the board game they were playing instead of the squabble that Xander and Spike had just started.

Spike's memories were coming back to him faster and faster, Willow believed he was remembering the "wonderful" Time they spent together in Xander's basement.

****

Spike: (high pitched voice) Xander... Xander

****

Xander: (pointed finger at him threatenly) oh don't you start that again Captain Peroxide

The three women looked over at Xander, who was at his wit's end.

****

Dawn: You know Xander, the best thing to do is ignore him.

Xander: Don't you think I've tried?... Can we gag him?

****

Willow: No, we need to know when he is himself again

****

Xander: Yeah so I can hit him

***

Buffy and Giles walked through the graveyard that Uther was last spotted. It was eerily quiet, Buffy didn't like that at all and she was sure Giles didn't either.

****

Buffy: Do you think he is hiding? 

****

Giles: I see no reason why he should

They walked on, checking behind every mausoleum. They spotted nothing, till Buffy heard a branch brake behind them, she turned quickly right into...

****

Buffy: Angel? What are you doing here?

The man that was once a vampire stepped out of the shadows, Buffy could already see a change in his features, his skin was no longer deathly pale and his chest was rising and falling.

****

Angel: Sorry for surprising you, Cordy had a final vision from the powers, it was of you

Angel paused and quickly glanced at Giles, then back to Buffy.

****

Buffy: And?

****

Angel: You are killed Buffy, by Spike

Buffy's breath caught in her throat, she couldn't comprehend what Angel had just told her.

****

Buffy: But Spike can't, I know he can't

****

Angel: That's what I said cause you know (makes a fist with his hand and puts it on his chest)

Buffy looked at Angel and remembered he didn't know Spike was back, then she realized something

****

Buffy: No it isn't Spike Cordelia saw, It was Uther, he turned into Spike before

****

Giles: A shape shifter? Buffy you never told me he changed, what we are dealing with might not be a vampire

****

Buffy: What is it then?

****

Giles: I don't know

****

Angel: Could the demon or what ever it is, be pretending to be Uther?

****

Giles: It might but I still think we should search for the demon first see if we can get it to go to it's original form... If it has one

****

Buffy: Sounds like a plan, he better hurry and show himself, I do want to get home

****

Angel: Speaking of your house, Conner came with me, he went to your place, I think he had a crush on Dawn

****

Buffy: Same with Dawn

****

Angel: (smiles) We should get going, see if we can find him tonight

****

Buffy: No, you are going to go to my house, your human now and I don't want you to get hurt

****

Angel: (gives her a Gimme a break look) Buffy, Don't start that, I can handle myself... anyway, the powers they let me keep my vampire strength... I guess they still want me to help the helpless

****

Buffy: Ok but if we do come across the demon, don't get in the way, just back me up, Giles do you think the spell will work on whatever this demon is?

****

Giles: Hopefully

****

Buffy: I can't tell you how much I hate that answer

****

Giles: Would you like me to lie to you?

****

Buffy: Nah

They continued walking, till Buffy yet again heard a branch break behind her.

****

Buffy: (with out turning around to Angel) Now if that is your son asking for directions I am going to be very upset.

The watcher, Slayer and former vampire turned to see...

(You hate me don't ya)

***

Willow had excused herself from the ferocious game of monopoly they were playing to get the home base scoobies, some snacks, but she was really going to talk to Tara. She hated not being able to sit for hours at a time and talk to her, whenever she could it was only for a little while, Willow just wished Tara were alive.

***

Uther stood before them, well they thought it was Uther.

****

Buffy: Well, well finally decided to show huh?

****

Uther: Time to die slayer

****

Buffy: (hands on hips) You know, if you have been around for as long as the books say, you should have at least been able to pick up some new threatening comments, I mean I hear that one from every vamp I dust

****

Uther: I can sense you found me out Slayer, know my secrets, Well I know yours...

He turned into Spike.

****

"Spike": I'm going crazy you know, I won't be the same

He turned back into Uther.

****

Uther: He is fading fast slayer, the memories will hit him full force, he won't be able to handle it and he will die

Buffy stared at Uther, her eyes wide, she couldn't believe him, she wouldn't let herself believe him.

****

Buffy: No, you're lying

****

Uther: Very well believe what you want

****

Angel: (confused) What is he talking Buffy, whose memories... Spike's?

Buffy took a quick glance at Angel.

****

Buffy: Go, to my house watch Spike, please make sure he is ok

****

Angel: What do you mean?

****

Buffy: He came back Angel... He came back to me and now he is helpless, please go

Angel looked at Buffy worriedly then took off towards the Summers' house.

***

Dawn got up from the board game to answer the door.

She couldn't believe who it was, she slammed the door in his face and went into a fit of giggles. Xander, Spike and Anya looked at her.

****

Anya: Was there something funny at the door?

****

Dawn: No! It's Conner

****

Xander: Angel's son?

Dawn nodded, patted her hair and smoothed out her clothes, she opened the door with a big grin on her face.

****

Dawn: Conner! What a surprise!

****

Conner: I could tell by the swift way you slammed the door in my face.

Dawn blushed.

****

Dawn: Sorry

****

Conner: it's ok

Xander and Anya looked into the foyer trying to get a look at the only known child of two vampires. The teens walked into the living room.

****

Anya: He doesn't look that special

Dawn's eyes widened and she glared at Anya.

****

Anya: What? It's true

****

Dawn: Ok, Conner this is Anya and Xander

****

Conner: Hi (puts hand up in hello)

****

Xander: Hi Conner, why don't you come and sit with us tell us everything about you

Xander smirked and Dawn knew he was trying to get on her nerves.

****

Dawn: No, not know, me and Conner are going to go talk upstairs

Dawn grabbed Conner's hand and pulled him towards the stairs

****

Anya: And talking will be the only thing going on, there will be no playing of checkers up there

Dawn blushed a deep red and ran up the stairs Conner behind her with a confused look on his face.

__

"Checkers?"

****

Spike: How nice of her not to introduce me, do much like her sister

****

Xander: You already met him Spike

****

Spike: I don't remember meeting my grandsire's new childe

****

Xander: That's because you don't remember anything

As Spike and Xander yet again began to argue, Anya went into the kitchen to see if Willow needed any help she had been in the kitchen for a while.

She wasn't in the kitchen when Anya entered, but she did hear voices from the backyard.

****

Willow: I still don't understand. why we have to meet like this, you could probably help Spike... and us, you know get through stuff

A familiar voice replied to Willow and Anya knew who it was... Tara.

****

Tara: You guys don't need me that much

****

Willow: Yes we do, I do... I just Wish you were still alive and you were here with me

****

Tara: Please don't say that, I am always with you

Anya could feel the heat and glow of her amulet under her shirt. Her face changed, to her demon face as she walk to the door that was cracked open.

****

Anya: (softly) Done

She heard a gasp from outside and smiled she turned back around, still in demon face. To see Xander in the doorway, his eyes wide.

****

Xander: Anya?

****

AN: Ok I am stopping there, I had just got a rush of ideas so I hopefully will be updating sooner, I am about to go to my school's Homecoming football game, so I am typing quickly. PLEASE REVIEW and I will give you a cookie!!!

__

Next time: Anya tells Xander the truth and Buffy fights Uther, finding out more about him, Willow gets her wish and Dawn and Conner Smoochies!!!!


	21. Meeting her Match

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AN: Ok this is the Chapter where we finally get rid of Uther and the scoobies go through the healing process. This fic is almost over so thanks a lot to all those who have reviewed!! You guys are great. Sorry for the lack of updates, school and my life have been keeping me from being computer bound so hope you like this chapter!!!! Oh and another reason I have not been updating is because I have been trying to work in some of the stuff that really happened on the show in this fic so you will see a little of that starting in this chapter ok Author's note done here's CHAPTER TWENTY ONE!!!

Buffy saw Giles walk behind a mausoleum, his bag of magical supplies with him.

****

Buffy: (to Uther) So are we going to talk all night about me or are we going to fight?

****

Uther: You don't want to fight me

****

Buffy: See there you go with the talking thing again, do I sense some one is trying to stall?

Uther growled.

****

Buffy: Are we making progress?

The Vampire, demon shape shifter lunged at her.

****

Buffy: (goes into fighting stance) Finally

***

He sat with his eyes closed, bound to the chair. He could feel pain all over his body, visions came to him, voices spoke to him.

He whimpered and tried once again to release himself from his binds, with no luck, he felt blood running down his hands and the burning from the rope, he had to get free, but he would never be free he would bee forever hers. The pain in his wrists worsened as he tried to call for help, no one came to him, they needed to know when he was his old self, but he would never be his old self, he was now a shell full of despair and pain, a shell that was once empty but filled with grief, a shell that needed love.

***

****

(The next part is going to be in Xander's POV but it will soon go back to normal)

I thought my heart had stopped when I saw her true face the face of a demon, not the woman I loved. I had no idea how to react, so I turned and walked out, I turned my back Like I had done in the past but this time I didn't now why I was running, usually I would have yelled at her, or asked why, maybe Anya did have her reasons but none I could probably understand, I loved her ad she lied to me, my heart was ripped from my chest **(AN: A little bit of "Selfless" there :-P)**. I could hear her calling me but I didn't turn, I stopped in the hallway, having no where to go, everything reminded me of her. I leaned against the wall trying to force back the tears that were threatening to come. I was falling apart inside yet again.

****

(Normal POV)

Anya followed Xander after he didn't answer her. He wasn't supposed to know she was a demon still, he wasn't supposed to find out because Anya knew it would brake his heart and she didn't want that.

****

Anya: Xander? Please let me explain

He didn't turn round or respond to her.

****

Anya: Xander, please look at me

****

Xander: I don't want to look at you

There was more sadness in his voice then anger, he still didn't turn around.

****

Anya: He wouldn't let me revoke my powers, I tried... Believe me

She continued when he didn't respond.

****

Anya: I went to him after the whole thing with Willow, I wanted to be human again I wanted to be with you, I wanted to be your missus, (Smiles at memory) But he wouldn't have it, he was disgraced with me "for having bred with a human" as he put it. He said that and I knew about the baby I knew what we could share together. D'Hoffryn was upset with me as I said, he refused to make me human, he said he would kill us... me and the baby, I wouldn't let that happen so I did lie to you and I'm sorry, please Xander forgive me, I was going to tell you.

****

Xander: (turns sadness in his eyes) Then why didn't you? Why did you lie?

Anya turned away so he wouldn't see her cry.

****

Anya: (softly, tear-choked voice) I didn't want you to reject our daughter, I didn't want you to leave me alone through all of this, since she will be part demon, I know how you feel about demons Xander you haven't kept that a secret for as long as I've known you and I thought you wouldn't want me or her.

Xander looked at his would have been wife, and let his unshed tears fall, he didn't care that his daughter was part demon all he cared about was that he was going to have a daughter, he was going to be a daddy and it was all real, he would love her no matter what and he would love Anya just the same. Xander also felt a pang of guilt, Anya was right about the demon thing, but he had known that some demons weren't that bad, Angel and Spike for example, maybe Xander didn't like them but he respected them because they were good people, he had always been a demon magnet and he was happy to be one.

Anya turned and looked at Xander expecting a look of disgust but all she got was one of his goofy grins, and tears of happiness streaming down his face.

****

Xander: Never assume I wouldn't love you because of that, never assume I wouldn't love our child because of that, I love you both and I will forever, even if you are demons and she has floppy ears

Anya looked at Xander confused, but then smiled. He grabbed Anya in his arms and kissed her.

****

Xander: I love you

Anya cried happily in his shoulder, but something was nagging Xander at the back of his head.

****

Xander: (softly) Ahn? When you were in demon face, you weren't granting a wish were you?

Anya gasped and looked at Xander, her eyes wide.

She let go of Xander and walked into the kitchen, when she looked out the window, she sighed with relief. It was all ok, everything was going to be fine from now on.

****

Xander: Ahn? Who's out there?

****

Anya: (smiling) Look for yourself

Xander looked out the window and gasped.

****

Xander: You brought her back

****

Anya: Willow wished it

Xander smiled at Anya and went to hug her but before he could wrap his arms round her she kneeled over in pain. Xander fell to her side in panic.

****

Xander: Anya?

****

Anya: Xander, something's wrong

****

Xander: What do you mean by that? What's wrong?

****

Anya: (softly) The baby

Xander's eyes widened as a flash of light filled the Kitchen and D'Hoffryn appeared.

***

Angel burst through the door of the Summer's house out of breath, he knew he was in shape, but he had to get used to the whole breathing thing.

He heard whimpering coming from the living room so he turned the corner and saw his bleach-blonde haired grandchilde facing away from him, tied to a chair his hands covered in blood. Angel went to his side and began untying him.

****

Angel: Spike?

Spike looked at his grandsire. Angel had never seen so much pain in someone's eyes.

****

Angel: Are you ok?

****

Spike: I have to go... he'll hurt the girl

****

Angel: (confused) What who will hurt what girl?

****

Spike: I have to go, have to help the girl

****

Angel: (softly) Buffy

Spike nodded and once he was free he stood up, his legs wobbly from sitting in a chair for two days and went towards the door.

Angel stopped him by grabbing his arm.

****

Angel: Spike stop, you can't help Buffy

****

Spike: He'll hurt her

****

Angel: How do you know this?

****

Spike: He'll hurt the girl

That's when they saw the flash coming from the kitchen.

***

Willow and Tara were crying in each other's arms.

****

Willow: Your back, your alive

****

Tara: I don't know what to say

****

Willow: Don't say anything... Just hold me.

That's when they saw the flash, they jumped up and rushed into the kitchen. They say Xander with Anya in his arms, she looked like she was in pain.

Angel and Spike were in the doorway of the kitchen and D'Hoffryn was standing with his arms crossed in front of Anya and Xander.

****

Tara: W-what's going on?

****

D'Hoffryn: (smirks) I think Anyanka can answer that

***

Buffy was trying her best to fight the demon, Uther as Giles was doing the Binding spell, she hoped it worked. She had no idea, Uther was as strong as she was and any bystander could see she was losing.

****

Buffy: (out of breath) Is that all you've got?

****

Uther: You shouldn't be talking slayer, I have you right where I want you

Buffy leapt at the demon and kicked him in the face, he stumbled back and Buffy pummeled him with all of her strength.

****

Buffy: No I have YOU right where I want you

***

Anya looked at D'Hoffryn fear and anger in her eyes.

She knew what he was doing, he was trying to get back at her and she had given him a chance by bringing Tara back.

****

Anya: I won't let you

****

D'Hoffryn: I must do what I must, you were the one who broke the rule of balance I am just setting it right

****

Anya: I granted a wish, it's what I do, it's what you wanted me to do

****

D'Hoffryn: Yes but you brought back a life... that means one must be taken

Xander looked at the demon in front of him, realizing what Anya already had. HE was killing their child, he was killing his Daughter.

****

Xander: NO! You can't do this, you don't decide who gets to live or die

****

D'Hoffryn: Do you not understand the balance she disrupted? With life there is death and with death there is life, you can't stop that from happening. She brought back a life so she pays the price.

****

Willow: Why should she pay for doing her job?

****

D'Hoffryn: Are you humans thick-headed? Have you heard a word I said?

****

Angel: Sometimes rules can be broken take me and Spike here...

Angel trailed off when the other ex-vamp was not behind him.

****

Angel: Great

***

He had to help the girl, she needed him and he needed her. He wasn't going to let him hurt the girl...his girl.

***

Uther was once again on the winning side when he had Buffy pinned, she hardly had any strength left and Giles' spell didn't seem to be working.

"BUFFY!"

Buffy tried to look up as Uther looked to see who had called the slayer's name.

She saw Spike and a wave of happiness washed over her. She took her chance of Uther being distracted and kicked him off of her, he landed on his back and before he could get up. Spike was on top of him.

****

Spike: I won't let you hurt the girl, she's my girl

Spike punched the demon, tears rolling down his cheeks, he was saving his girl, he had to save Buffy. Through his blurry vision he saw Buffy underneath him, he stopped punching the bloody faced form of his lover... he had hurt the girl.

****

Spike: Buffy, I'm sorry I'm sorry, he got off of the girl he thought was Buffy. While the real Buffy was checking on Giles, who was having trouble with setting up the spell.

****

Buffy: Giles! What's the hold up?

****

Giles: Buffy? What are you doing, why aren't you fighting Uther

****

Buffy: I think Spike has it under control

****

Giles: Spike?

Buffy nodded and turned to see how Spike was doing, instead she saw Spike facing... Buffy herself.

***

****

D'Hoffryn: (to Angel) You two were chosen, that's the only reason you were given second chances

****

Willow: What about Buffy?

D'Hoffryn looked at Willow, she knew she had got him there.

****

D'Hoffryn: What's done is done and it can't be changed

The demon then disappeared in a flash and Anya screamed in pain.

Xander clutched his love's hand as tears rolled down his cheeks.

****

Xander: NO! NO! This can't be happening it isn't fair, none of this is fair!

Tara looked at Willow sadly, Willow was crying.

****

Willow: It's all my fault, it's all my fault

****

Tara: No, sweetie don't blame yourself, you can help, you have to help

Willow looked at her love and knew what she meant, she could save Her best friends baby... if she used magic.

She nodded and kneeled next to Anya, who was still in much pain.

****

Anya: Xander... It feels like she is being ripped from me

Xander gripped Anya's hand tighter as Willow placed her hands on her stomach, Willow's eyes turned as black as night as Anya once again began to scream as a blue glow appeared around Willow's hands.

****

Xander: (eyes wide) What are you doing! You're hurting her!

Tara placed a hand on Xander's shoulder as Willow tried to save Xander's daughter.

Angel watched the scene in front of him, not making a sound, Willow was giving back life, the red-head had gotten stronger. He turned and went out the door wanted to find Spike, he headed to the graveyard.

Willow's hair turned black as she used more of her magic. She finally sat back her hair and eyes returning to normal, she was out of breath.

****

Xander: So? What's the deal?

Willow looked at her friend tears in her eyes, Xander couldn't read the emotion on her face.

****

Willow: I was too late, I'm sorry Xander, I'm so sorry 

***

****

Spike: Buffy, I hurt you... I hurt the girl.

The Buffy in front of Spike, reached out and stroked his cheek, Spike closed his eyes, enjoying her touch. Then she kneed him in the gut, he fell back in pain.

****

Buffy: Spike!

Spike turned at the sound of another voice, it was the real Buffy running towards him.

****

Spike: Buffy?

Buffy nodded and looked at the fake disguise that Uther had on.

****

Buffy: So that's how you get out of being beaten to a bloody pulp, you change?

****

"Buffy": You shouldn't take me as a weakling slayer, I will defeat you.

Buffy ignored Uther and looked in Giles' direction.

****

Buffy: Now Giles!

Giles began the spell, chanting in Latin at a makeshift altar. The Uther Buffy, smirked at the real Buffy.

****

"Buffy": Like that will work slayer, I am...

Uther Buffy was cut off as he/she screamed.

****

"Buffy": No! I will not go out this way!

****

Buffy: Well I guess, you'll have to deal

Buffy went over to a kneeling Spike who had tears running down his face.

****

Spike: I hurt the girl

****

Buffy: It's ok Spike it's all over, you didn't hurt anyone

****

Spike: (looks at Uther Buffy) I hurt you Buffy

****

Buffy: That's not me

Uther Buffy was still screaming, but it didn't seem to be weakening, Buffy looked at the demon that stole her face and frowned, what was wrong with the spell?

***

Xander looked at his friend, a shocked, angry, upset look on his face, Anya was at a lose for words sobbing on Xander's shoulder.

****

Xander: What do you mean too late, how could you be too late

****

Willow: D'Hoffryn had gotten to the baby before I could save it

****

Xander: (softly, choked up voice) Her

Willow looked at her friend, with no idea how to comfort him, she looked at Tara who was crying.

****

Tara: It's my fault

****

Willow: No it's not

****

Tara: It is, I was the one brought back (looks at Anya) Can you take it back? Can you take back Willow's wish and can you save the baby?

Willow couldn't help herself, she looked at Tara a distressed look on her face.

****

Willow: No, no don't leave me

****

Tara: It might be the only way

****

Anya: (tears rolling down face) No it's not, I might have another way

***

Uther Buffy looked at Buffy who was still kneeling down next to her fallen lover. She smirked, and narrowed her eyes at the slayer, then she laughed and looked in Giles' direction.

****

Uther Buffy: Well, well watcher it seems you have just given me the strength to kill the slayer... is she a match for... herself?

Giles looked at Buffy, who looked back at him with wide eyes.

****

Buffy: He's trapped in my form isn't he?

Giles nodded.

****

Buffy: Great

She stood up and faced herself (*AN: That's funny, don't ya think? heeheehee*)

****

Buffy: So, you think I've met my match huh?

****

Uther Buffy: You should be frightened slayer, I know how your mind works, how you fight, I am you, can you actually bring yourself to fight and destroy... yourself?

****

Buffy: (shrugs) I have before, so I have no problem doing it now

Uther Buffy's eyes widened in fear as Buffy began her attack, Spike who watched on slowly made his way to the bag of weapons, Buffy seemed to have forgotten about... he had a feeling he could kill Uther Buffy, he was the only one who could.

He watched the Buffys fight, which one he thought, which one was his girl, he couldn't tell and he didn't want to kill the wrong one, he never would be able to forgive himself.

****

Spike: Buffy! I love you.

The Buffy he knew was his turned and smiled at him, but turned back keeping her attention on Uther Buffy.

****

Buffy: It's not the time or the place Spike, let me finish this and we can go home.

Spike had his sights on his Buffy as he made his way behind Uther Buffy, he still hadn't sensed him.

He brought up the crossbow aimed and...

"SPIKE STOP!!"

Fired.

****

AN: OK I know I said Uther was going to be gone in this chapter and well he sorta of is you know becoming Buffy's form and all that lol well I know some of you will hate me for What I did to Xander and Anya but don't worry it will all end happily so look for the final two or three chapters soon. And is it just me or is that Conner/Cordelia thing gross? Well PLEASE REVIEW!!!


	22. It's all Over

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AN: Here's Chapter 22 this chapter will wrap up the end of Chapter 21 and will lead into the final chapter I am sorta of happy to finish this up because I have a great Idea for a Harry Potter/ Buffy crossover soooo I would like to start that up so if you like those types of fics be on the look out for it. I am done babbling here is Chapter 22!

Conner was really enjoying the internet which Dawn was showing him, they had no idea of the events that were going on downstairs because of how loud Dawn was playing some Mp3s on Willow's laptop, which she had allowed the teen to borrow.

****

Conner: So what kind of websites, do you normally go to?

****

Dawn: (typing) Mostly demon sites and sites for school and stuff

****

Conner: Why demon sites?

****

Dawn: To help out Buffy and to try and find out more stuff about me and being the key

****

Conner: What about me?

****

Dawn: huh?

She looked at Conner and saw a curious look on his face.

****

Dawn: Oh, well we can look now I mean, I don't think Buffy will be home for awhile and your dad doesn't mind? Buffy always yells at me when she catches me researching (bad Buffy imitation) 'You are human, you don't have to look up stuff that doesn't exist' well I did find some stuff.

****

Conner: I don't think Dad will mind, let's look.

Dawn nodded and began typing 'Child of two vampires' in the search box.

****

AN: I know that was pointless but I sorta left Dawn and Conner out in the last chapter so, just to make sure all you people with dirty minds, they weren't doing anything naughty lol

***

****

Xander: Well what is this plan?

Xander looked at his heartbroken soul-mate and tried to figure out what she was thinking.

****

Anya: Well (sniffles) I was thinking that Willow could get D'Hoffryn to make her a vengeance demon...

****

Xander: (interrupts) Ahn, I don't think...

****

Anya: (snaps back at him) Do you want your baby back?

Xander nodded turning away, letting his unshed tears fall, he didn't want them to see him cry.

****

Anya: Then you could grant my wish and we could destroy your power source.

There was another flash and Hallie entered.'

****

Hallie: Anya you know better then that, once you destroy a vengeance demon's power source, their most recent wish will be taken back, you know that

Anya hung her head remembering the rules of a life she chose thousands of years ago.

****

Hallie: but I have an easier way

Anya, Willow, Tara and Xander looked at the demon.

****

Hallie: I was called here by Xander and you Anya, what have I told you my pet peeve is a child's best interest and I know that your child's best interest is to live, so make your wish

Anya smiled at her friend.

****

Xander: We wish for our child to be alive and healthy

Hallie nodded and waved her hands, she smiled at Anya.

****

Hallie: Done

****

Xander: How do we know? How do we know if it worked?

****

Willow: It did

****

Xander: How do you know?

****

Willow: I can sense two heartbeats

****

Anya: And I just know

Xander helped Anya up and she went over and hugged Hallie.

****

Anya: Thank you so much

****

Hallie: No problem, what are friends for

****

Anya: He's going to be upset with you

****

Hallie: I know, he'll get over it and he had no right to do that, you didn't brake the balance, you bent it a little, I'll give him a piece of my mind and I can see if he will take away your powers

****

Anya: Thank you, for everything

Hallie nodded and smiled as she waved her arms in her traditional exit.

Anya turned to Xander and they embraced. Willow tapped Anya on her shoulder.

****

Willow: Thank you Anya, you truly are a great friend.

Anya smiled and they hugged.

****

Anya: Thank you for trying to save her

***

"Spike Stop!"

Angel didn't see that the Buffy Spike was aiming at wasn't the good Buffy. Uther Buffy turned at the sound of another voice and the crossbow bolt hit her in the chest.

****

Angel: BUFFY!

****

Buffy: It's ok that's not me

Angel stopped in his tracks clearly confused. Uther Buffy screamed as it burst into Ashes.

****

Buffy: Why did it go poof, I'm not a vampire

****

Giles: (comes up behind Buffy) But the permenant for that it took was and it was only weak in another form.

****

Buffy: And when did you figure this out?

****

Giles: Just now actually

Buffy rolled her eyes and walked over to Spike who was still crouched down holding the crossbow.

He was crying, tears rolling down his face, Buffy took the crossbow from his hands and place it on the ground next to her.

She then took Spike in her arms as Angel and Giles watched.

It was all over, Uther was dead and everything was ok.

***

Dawn and Conner came down the stairs when they heard, Buffy, Spike, Angel and Giles walk in.

****

Dawn: So did you kill it?

Buffy nodded smiling as the rest of the scoobies walked into to living room.

Buffy and Giles' eyes nearly popped out of their heads when they saw Tara.

****

Tara: Anya brought me back

****

Xander: She's still a demon

****

Anya: But not for long

Buffy nodded understanding that they all had a story to tell.

****

Conner: (clears throat) Um, Dawn and I have found some stuff about our back rounds, some surprising stuff

****

Angel: Like what?

****

Dawn: That the Key and the child of two vampires are meant to be the parents of the slayer that will close the Hellmouth for good

****

Buffy: Well, as long as being parents comes much later in your lives, I have no problem with you two going out

Angel looked at Buffy then at Conner, Buffy had been a parental figure longer then he had so he just nodded.

Every one laughed at Angel and for once in a long time, everything was perfect, for the scoobies.

***

*Later that night*

He was outside staring up at the stars, they were beautiful as he had once told Willow, but they would all disappear once the light came and for once Spike could stay out and watch the sunrise which what he had been planning to do.

The voices had quieted and he no longer had a deep despair within him.

Buffy came and sat next to Spike.

****

Buffy: You ok?

Spike nodded not taking his eyes off the sky.

****

Buffy: What I said earlier, about that not being the time or place, well it's a good time and this is a perfect place.

Spike looked at Buffy and smiled.

They kissed and Spike pulled something from his pocket that he had in his possession for a very long time, it was meant for his first love, but now it was meant for his soul-mate.

****

Spike: (whisper) Buffy

They looked into each other's eyes.

****

Buffy: Yes?

****

Spike: Will you marry me?

Buffy was a bit taken back, this was unexpected, she looked at him then the ring, this could be her only chance and she loved him.

****

Buffy: Yes Spike I will

Spike grinned and they embraced.

****

Buffy: Spike... I love you

****

AN: OK the next chapter is the last one, it will have lots of Spuffiness and lots of romantic fluff between all of our favorite couples sooooo please review and I hopefully will have the final chapter up soon.


	23. Love Changes everything

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AN: Well here is the final chapter I would like to thank EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO HAS REVIEWED! so THANKS!!! Well here is the fluff chapter it takes place three years after the everything, you'll see why, believe me it's a cuteness factor, oh and I am trying the story format instead of the script, so don't flame me if I don't get quotation marks in all the right places I am used to the script format and I want to get out of the habit of writing that way! Here's chapter 23!!!

3 years later

"Should I wear it down or up?", asked Buffy as she looked into the mirror above her dresser.

Willow, who was lying on Buffy's Bed next to Tara rolled her eyes at her best friend.

"Buffy you have already decided on your hair, your dress and every other little thing about this wedding, so will you stop stressing already?" 

Buffy turned and looked at Willow, "What else am I supposed to do? This is a big day for me"

"It was for me too...well the first time," said Anya who was bouncing a giggling three-year old on her lap.

"Right," Said Buffy rolling her eyes, "You stressed both times"

Anya nodded and shrugged. 

Dawn walked into the room, her hair shorter then it was three years ago with some blonde highlights, she sat down next to Cordelia, who was rocking a sleeping newborn.

"OK, now that we are all here, it's time for me to tell you guys, who the lucky lady is," said Buffy grinning.

Willow quickly glanced at Dawn who was playing with the engagement ring on her finger that was given to her on her nineteenth birthday, by Conner. Willow already knew that Buffy was going to surprise her sister.

"Dawn," said Buffy, "Congrats, your my Matron of Honor"

"Huh?" said Dawn looking up confused, "I thought that was supposed to be your best friend."

"You are," said Buffy.

Dawn smiled at her sister and they embraced. Fred who had been quiet the whole time, sighed at the moment.

"How sweet," she said, "I wish I had a sister."

Cordelia elbowed the girl, trying not to disturb her daughter.

"Other then you Cordy," said Fred.

They all laughed.

***

All the guys were downstairs while the girls had "Girl-Time", talking and watching TV. 

Spike who was now as sane as he had ever been was also stressing, he was getting married to the woman of his dreams in just a three days and he had not yet chosen his best man, out of Angel, Xander and Conner.

The wedding wasn't gong to be big, just the Scoobies, and Angel's people from LA. The past three years were, basically just trying to put things back together, Buffy and Spike got to really know each other, they shared their feelings to one another and didn't fight...much.

Xander had gotten over his childish dislike of Spike and the two men became friends, Spike was wondering if it was a good idea to ask him to be his best man, but them there was Angel who he had know for over a hundred years but still he couldn't decide.

***

Buffy was looking thoughtfully into the mirror as her friends talked and laughed, she had a lot on her mind.

The past three years she had been trying to get to know Spike, the kind Spike that she had only seen glimpses of, when he wasn't trying to hide using his Bad boy act. Spike had also gotten to know her, not the slayer, but the girl part of her, he got to know Buffy.

She sighed and turned back towards her friends, Willow, Anya and Dawn were in her Wedding party, Cordelia, who had gotten out of the Hospital, two weeks before, with her and Angel's first Child, Amanda Anne Angel. She decided she wouldn't look good in a bridesmaid dress after having a baby. Fred didn't feel right because she hadn't known Buffy that long, Tara felt that she would leave it to Buffy's Best friend's to stand beside her, much to Willow's dismay.

Buffy's thoughts were soon interrupted when, Anya began talking about Xander and her daughter, Lily Christina Emanuella Harris began to get over excited.

"Daddy!! I wanna see Daddy!" said the little girl happily, she jumped off of Anya's lap and started towards the door, but before she got there the little girl disappeared.

"Great," sighed Anya, "Xander's gonna kill me"

The six women started downstairs, to make sure Lily didn't end up anywhere she wasn't supposed to be.

***

Xander yelped and nearly jumped out of his skin, when his little girl appeared on his lap.

"Geez, Lily," he said a stern look on his face.

The girls came downstairs, Xander glared at Anya, who shrugged and mouthed.

"Not my fault"

Spike smiled at his soon to be blushing bride, he couldn't wait.

"Spike," said Buffy grinning.

"Slayer" said Spike smirking as he pulled Buffy onto his lap.

They kissed while their friends watched in mock disgust.

"Get a room," said Dawn as she squeezed in between Conner and Gunn.

"Like you should talk nibblet," Said Spike glaring playfully at her, "Or was it not you, snogging in the bathroom the other night."

Dawn went bright red as Conner put his arm around her.

"So, Spike," Said Tara, "Have you chose your best man yet?"

Spike was waiting for this, he still hadn't decided, he looked from Xander to Angel, he saw Angel slyly tilting his head towards Xander pretending to scratch his ear. The bloody poof always knew what he was thinking.

"Actually yeah, Xander, you wanna take the honor?" asked Spike looking at the carpenter.

Xander looked up from tickling his daughter to look at Spike.

"Wow, I never would have guess... yeah I will, thanks Spike," said Xander Surprised.

Spike nodded, everything was now set, they just had to wait for the big day.

***

It was finally here, the day Buffy had been dreaming about since forever. Her white satin, gown fit her perfectly, her hair was down and curled, her veil rested on top of her head, it was finally time.

__

Love, Love changes everything

Hands and Faces, earth and sky

Love, love changes everything.

How you live and how you die.

Dawn walked into Buffy's room they were having the service at the same place Xander and Anya had theirs. Her dress was blue and was spegetti strap, her brown hair fell in curls on her shoulders.

"You ready Buffy?" she asked smiling at her sister.

"As I'll ever be Dawnie," said Buffy, "How do I look?"

"Beautiful," said Dawn.

Buffy grinned and linked arms with her sister, they headed downstairs, where Xander and Willow were waiting to drive them to the ceremony.

"Wow, Buff, looking good," said Xander smiling.

"Thanks Xander," said Buffy giving one of her best friends a hug, she turned to Willow, who had tears in her eyes. "Oh there will be none of that,:" Said Buffy has she wrapped her arms around her friend, "You cried at Xander's you can't cry at mine."

Willow sniffled, "Ok, but I'm not promising"

The three friends and Dawn walked towards the car, Xander who was in his tux, opened the Front door for Buffy and the back doors for Dawn and Willow, who was also in her blue dress.

They were off.

__

Love can make the summer fly

Or a night seem like a lifetime

Yes love, love changes everything

Now I tremble at your name

Nothing in the world will ever be the same

Buffy stared out the window trying her best to keep her hands from trembling, she now was really getting married to Spike and it wasn't a spell, Buffy smiled at this memory that she had thought about many times over the past couple of years.

__

"Spike and I are getting married!!"

Buffy had learned to love the ex-vampire and he could happily show her all of the love, she refused to let him show, it was bliss for both of them, to have someone in both of their lives to share everything with, and Giles told her she was in fact the first slayer to get married, this of course brought a proud grin to her face when Giles told her.

As Buffy stared out the window at the town of Sunnydale where she had been living for the past ten years, went by. She missed her mother terribly and she was the one person other then Dawn and her friends that she wanted to be there.

"Penny for your thoughts?" said Xander

"I miss Mom," said Buffy.

Dawn quickly glance at Willow, who had a grin on her face, knowing about an important surprise, when it was finally time.

__

Love, love changes everything

Days are longer, words mean more

Love, love changes everything

Pain is deeper than before

They reached the ceremony hall, Buffy still having a hard time with her trembling hands.

"I think you ladies go wait in the back dressing room, I'll go tell everyone we're here." said Xander.

The bride and her bridesmaids nodded and they headed towards the dressing room, where they met Anya, Cordelia, Tara, Fred and Lily who looked adorable in her little flower girl dress.

"You look Great Buffy," said Cordelia giving Buffy a one-armed hug, she had her yet-again sleeping Amanda in her other arm.

"Thanks," replied Buffy as hugs went all around the room, till there was a knock at the door, it was Giles.

He smiled at the sight of Buffy, who smiled back, the Watcher and slayer embraced.

"You look absoulty stunning," He said pulling out of the hug and looking at her.

Buffy's smile widened.

"It's nearly time..." said Giles, he nodded towards Fred, Cordy and Tara, you should get to the ceremony." 

They nodded and went out the door, Buffy, Dawn, Anya and Willow remained in the room.

__

Love will turn your world around

And that world will last for ever

Yes love, love changes everything

Brings you glory, brings you shame

Nothing in the world will ever be the same

" But I have a gift to give you." finished Giles after Cordy, Tara and Fred exited, "Come with me"

Willow and Dawn looked at each other and grinned once again.

All of the women followed Giles out of the dressing room, to the door where Buffy would be entering to face her husband to be, there was a glowing figure standing in front of the doors. Buffy's breath caught in her throat.

"Mom!"

Mother and Daughter hugged, "How?, said Buffy, her eyes glistening with tears.

"Let's just say, we were owed a favor from a certain someone," said Giles.

"You think I would have missed this," said Joyce, "I would have been here favor or no favor"

Buffy Hugged her mother once again and the piano began to play, beginning the start of a new life for Buffy Summers.

Off into the world we go

Planning futures, shaping years

Love bursts in and suddenly

All our wisdom disappears

Buffy linked arms with both her Mother and Giles, As Lily in all of her cuteness walked down the aisle throwing flowers as Anya had told her, Xander was beaming as his little girl walked towards him.

Next came, Willow, followed By Anya, then Dawn, Conner winked at her from the alter.

Buffy stepped in the doorway, as the piano began playing over again, Spike was looking at her with Wide eyes, she grinned, he grinned back. Then she began the walk, her mother and Giles at her sides.

__

Love makes fools of everyone

All the rules we make are broken

Yes love, love changes everyone

Live or perish in its flame

Love will never, never let you be the same

Buffy had finally made it to the rest of her life, she kissed her mother's cheek, Giles kissed her on the forehead and they sat down, Spike took her arm, whispering "You look good, Goldilocks"

The ceremony had begun.

"Do you William the Bloody take Buffy Anne Summers to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and to cherish, to honor and obey, through sickness and health as long as you both shall live?"

Spike looked at Buffy with his bright Sapphire eyes and said "I do"

"Do you Buffy Anne Summers take William the Bloody to be you lawfully wedded Husband to love and to Cherish, to honor and obey, through sickness and heath as long as you both shall live?"

Buffy looked at Spike smiling, _"I do"_

Love will never, never let you be the same!

"By the power invested in me, I know pronouce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride"

Spike kissed Buffy like he had never kissed her before, everyone in the room began to clap, as Buffy and Spike broke apart looking each other in the eyes.

"I love you Buffy," said Spike.

"I love you too, Spike" said Buffy tears beginning to fall.

Spike took Buffy's hand and they walked down the aisle as Husband and Wife.

****

AN: THAT'S IT IT'S over! I could write a sequel, but this chapter was soooo hard to write due to writer's block, I will let you imagine how everything happens afterward.

The song I used in the story might not have fit very well in this situation but if you read the lyrics, it does sort of tell Buffy and Spike's relationship. It's call Love Changes Everything and it's by Andrew Lloyd Webber.

Thanks again to everyone who has reviewed!!!!

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